Rebound with Sockhead
by Cornoa
Summary: After a harsh breakup with Double D Kevin decide to move to New York and forgett everything. But what happens when his old crush appears during Kevins work as a barista?
1. New York here I come

**Hi guys!**  
 **This is a independent prequel. If you want to read the orgin story about how they got togheter in the first place read "What about Sockhead?"**  
 **Well if you like this don't be afraid to leave a review!**  
 **Thanks! / Cor**

* * *

Distance relationship would never work people said. We'll make it work Kevin said. And oh boy how awfully wrong he have had. After their perfect start during the autumn of course Edd would get an acceptance to Oxford, of course he would go… what else? Kevin couldn't restrain him and force him to stay in Peach Creek. They would make it work, Kevin would come and visit and they had skype, they could chat and message each other and even have movie nights… nothing could destroy their love.  
It had worked the first half year and during Christmas everything where normal and Kevin felt this might work. But during spring things turned downhill… Their skype calls became fewer and Edd got more and more work to do and couldn't keep up with everything. He was stressed about prestige and Kevin had to listen to Edd's worries about not be good enough and to not fix their next exam every time they talked. It wasn't that Edd was a bad boyfriend he was just overwhelmed about his new life and hadn't time to listen to Kevin's problem, because Kevin had problems. He missed his boyfriend, it was lonely in Peach Creek, and he was so fed up with the work at the jawbreak factory he could die. Kevin just wanted to do something with his life but he didn't know what and his boyfriend hadn't time to listen… had Double D time with him at all? They still loved each other tough, Kevin was willing to fix this. He just needed to earn more money and so he could move in together with Edd.  
And then the rebound with Nazz. She listened to his problems, had tried to help him. It just had happened and actually it was nothing. Just a kiss that showed Kevin's need to compassion and closeness, and he had been drunk. But the sex was more complicated to explain, he was drunk alright? Edd didn't knew, how could he? They barley talked nowadays and even if Kevin felt a bond, desire and love towards that dork, it wasn't the same when he wasn't here…. He missed him so much.  
And then the summer came, and Kevin didn't knew if Edd would visit their little suburban or not during his break. Why would he? He had a new life and he always talked about how great it felt to leave everything… _sure, fine… including me then?_ But he just wanted to surprise Kevin. But it ended up with Kevin surprising Double D. The kiss with Nazz on the porch had been innocent. Double D's face told him otherwise and even if Kevin tried to talk to him Edd had declared that: It's the fact I can never trust you again that makes me devastated! Relationships are constructed on reliance, trust and without that, what do we have?  
They were friends when Edd traveled back to Oxford, but nothing more. Their friendship faded as well during that autumn and that Christmas Kevin felt more miserable than ever. He just wanted to get out of Peach Creek, he didn't want to rot in this hole. Double D had surely moved on and so could he! Kevin saved money and he had a plan. New York, he would start there and see what he could do, he didn't know what but at least he had a plan now. College had been the wisest of choices but that cost money and Kevin didn't want to waste money when he had no clue what he wanted to study.  
It took four years to move to New York. And during that time he had convinced himself that he had forgot the Sockhead and he and Nazz had broke up like four times, they decided they just could be friends, which was great. Kevin was now 23 and lived in a cold shitty apartment, but it was his apartment. He worked at a coffee shop as a barista, the salary was nearly invisible, but it was manageable. And as long as he could try to forget Peach Creek everything was fine. Above all he had got some great friends here. He had little contact with the Cul-the-sac kids but mostly he stayed put in New York and hung out with his new friends. Nat was one of the few he kept tough and they both visited each other frequently. And Double D? Who knew where he lived and did nowadays? Not Kevin at least…  
It was a cold December day and the shop windows were overfilled with Christmas decorations. Sparkling glitter and movable Santa's and deer's peered out everywhere and wanted you to buy stuff. Kevin just ignored the jolly music and al glitter and pulled his jacket tighter and ran through slur that splashed his claves and soaked his jeans. He was late to work, as always… and during this time of the year they needed everyone to be on time. So many people took a break from their shopping spree and the café got overfilled.  
The first thing that hit Kevin when he walked in was the sound of his boss overpower the Christmas music. "You are late!"  
"I'm sorry I'm sorry!", Kevin began and took of his jacket and red knitted hat and scarf. "I got stuck by a…"  
"I'm not interested!", his boss snapped and she rose a hand so shush Kevin. "You are here now and that wat's matter now"  
Kevin smiled, and she smiled. Alice was his friend and she could be awesome, as long as you didn't pissed her of as a boss. They both laughed and Kevin rolled up his sleeves and checked so everything was in order before he grabbed a white apron. This day started off like a normal day during December. Kevin made different kinds of coffee and flirted with every young girl at the register and paid for their pumpkin spiced latte. Ordinary, nice, comfortable. Until he spotted a familiar black tube hat through the window… the person who wore that tube hat was even more familiar. Edd wore a purple coat in exchange for his hideous orange duvet. His appearance hadn't changed at all, or he was even taller and thinner than before but his face was the same. Cute button nose and Kevin could bet his pants on that he hadn't fixed his tooth gap. As soon as he had seen the dork he was gone, disappeared in the sea of people outside. Had he really seen his ex? Was it an illusion just because of the stupid Christmas feelings?  
"Hello? I want to by a decaf tall fat-free latte!"  
"Oh of course, one moment!", Kevin shook his head and smiled toward the brunette with big green eyes in front of him.  
He got carried away that was al, Eddward couldn't be in New York… he could live somewhere else but not in New York. And just to make it more agonizing "Fairytale of new York" began to play, their Christmas song. Kevin gritted his teeth while fixing the order. Oh stop it, just keep focus.  
"There, something else miss?", Kevin said and handed the girl her latte.  
"Yeah… you? Ha kidding!", she giggled and smiled widely and passed Kevin some money. "Keep the change, have a nice day handsome, bye!"  
Kevin just waved and began to service another customer. It must have been a his mind playing a sick joke… Double D could never be here, why would he? To talk to Kevin? Absolutely not. They lived separate lives now and that would never change. Kevin had buried his hopes a long time ago and that was it, Double D was just a memory of a good time and that was al. Why bother to hope? It was useless.


	2. The note

"No I don't know what Double D's up to why would I?", Nat asked during their weekly phone call.  
"Man you need to help me out, I thought I saw him last week, just check on facebook dumbass!" Kevin grunted.  
It was lunchbreak and he had grabbed one of the cafés cheese sandwiches but he wasn't hungry anymore, talking about this made him sick. Above all it just reminded him that Edd sadly enough had unfriend him on facebook. He was the kind of person who unfriended people if he didn't talked to them, that made kind of sense. If you didn't talked why bother about each other's life? Put to Kevin, it was an agonizing token that Edd had cut him of… but maybe it was for the better.  
"Where do he live, that's a great start?!"  
"Shut up just like two seconds I'm on it… Still in Oxford it seems", Nat sighed and Kevin heard a big yawn. "But he hasn't updated his profile in ages… I'm not sure, didn't he get a master degree last year?"  
"Well I don't know that's why I'm asking you, if he starts to pop up here I'll go crazy!", Kevin gestured widely and shoved his lunch away. "I mean like…"  
"It's probably nothing, you're mistaken chillax dude" Nat yawn again and Kevin could hear his computer chair spin around with a squalling noise. "Stop freaking out, you said you where over him show it If you want me to believe ya"  
"Why do you have to be right?", Kevin sighed and glanced at the clock, _working time.  
_ "Because I'm the smartest person you know, a genius a matter of fact!", Nat laughed.  
 _Second smartest_. "I need to go, more coffee to serve…"  
"Grind those beans well my friend, bye!"  
Kevin hung up and put his cellphone in his pocket. Nat was right nothing was wrong at all, and why would Kevin even bother if Double D was here in New York city, it was nothing. He tied his apron and threw is uneaten lunch in the garbage can on his way out from their lunchroom/office. This time during the day it was a good amount of customers. A pleasant sound of chatter trailed around the room. Their café was kind of a hot spot for students at the New York University, center of Manhattan and they had good quality coffee for a fair price. Alice was the tattooed kind of hipster and had designed her café accordingly. Smokey greyish walls and sturdy oak tables. Single lightbulbs hung from the ceiling and she had made al paintings that dressed the room. It was a cozy relaxing spring in a city that never slept. Kevin washed his hands and dried them on a towel, the bell rang.  
"One moment", Kevin said before he spun around to their register. "Good day, sir, what can I…"  
Kevin tried not to gasp but there he were. He hadn't imagine that purple coat and old tube hat. Double D stood with his nose inside a book, his big blue eyes eagerly scanning each page. Kevin's heart began do thump and he bit his lips. Yeah the guy had grown taller and thinner, his pale skin made him look like a porcelain doll.  
"I would like to order one organic hot chocolate and…", the guy quieted when he saw Kevin, he got so chocked he dropped his book that fell onto the floor with a load bang. "Oh dear!"  
He disappeared behind the counter while fetching his book. And Kevin just stood there like an idiot and ran his hand over his face. Oh my god oh my god!  
"Hi", Kevin said when Double D showed up again.  
"Good day, Kevin", Double D mumbled and wiped the dirt of his book with a tissue.  
"What brings you to the Big Apple?", Kevin began and fiddled with the register to fix Sockheads order.  
"Work", Edd said very short and sucked in his lip.  
"Oh okay, cool", Kevin nodded. "Long time no see"  
"Four and a half year", Double D sighed and his eyes began to flicker.  
Kevin smiled softly. "Do you want something more other than chocolate?"  
"Your Christmas bagel", Edd murmured, he didn't even want to look at Kevin  
"Sit down and no need to pay, my treat", Kevin continued to babble.  
"Certainly not", Edd gasped and laid some money on the counter. "I can handle myself, thank you"  
Kevin was just about to say something but Edd turned around and sat down at one of the tables by the windows and flung his book open and continued to read. Kevin soaked his lips and tried not to smile while making Double D's order. This was unbelievable, Kevin shouldn't be so happy about this but he were. And Double D was still cute like a kitty and a cupcake combined. _Okay keep your cool now, bro, don't ruin things because of your fat head…  
_ Kevin didn't ask about permission to do this but he didn't care. He placed the tray with the cup of chocolate and the bagel in front of Double D and sat down in the green armchair opposite to the quite guy. Double D looked a little weary with slightly dark shadows under his eyes, tiered of long nights studying Kevin thought.  
"Why're you here Double D?", Kevin said and gestured towards him.  
"I informed you, work", Double D sighed and placed a bookmark between the pages and shut the book hard with a loud thomp. "I'll lecture at New York University, My PhD degree requires that sort of commitment"  
"PhD degree?!", Kevin gasped. "Oh my, how… you are so young"  
"I'm well aware of that fact, and so are everyone else" Double D said and sighed again before he dug around in his bag for a hand sanitizer, _he hadn't change at all on the germ part_.  
"Why New York?", Kevin couldn't stop questioning him.  
"Because Oxford University lend me out because… Pardon Kevin but don't you think this conversation as rather odd?" Double D eyed him with great care.  
"Odd?"  
"We haven't communicated in four years and, I don't know I'm just feel a little bit overwhelmed to see you again", Double D took a zip from his chocolate and looked out the window.  
"The same", Kevin sighed. "Well how long will you be here?"  
"Six months", Double D mumbled.  
"Do you have somewhere to live?", Kevin tilted his head and observed Double D, it felt like he was an illusion that would disappear right in front of him, it was too good to be true.  
"Eddy's place, upper east side", Edd took the knife and fork and began to eat the raisin bagel with chestnut stuffing and cranberry sauce. "It's narrow but manageable"  
How could that Shrimp afford a flat there?! Kevin himself lived in Brooklyn and it was alright but expensive, he could pay the rent but he didn't earn enough to save anything. And how come Kevin hadn't seen that stupid jerk if he now lived here? Idiotic… _calm down and don't get mad over something that stupid_. Kevin took a deep breath and pulled himself together. He had that coming because karma was a bitch.  
"Well you can always come to my place", Kevin smiled wittily but the glare Edd gave him wasn't funny at al. "Dude it was a joke… come on"  
"Oh I silly me, I forgot, everything is a joke to you", Edd proclaimed and rolled his eyes. "Don't you have responsibilities and work to do?"  
 _You blew it you idiot!_ Kevin scratched the back of his head. What could he say? I have but I don't care because I want to catch up with you? No, that sounded so idiotic and was nothing Edd needed to hear right now. Everything ended with a shrug and Kevin rose from the armchair and looked down at the floor. He hoped his ashamed inner didn't reflected his outside. He felt like a dog with his tail between the legs.  
"I'm sorry man, I thought everything were cool between us", Kevin muttered and shoved his hands in his pockets.  
"Kevin, it's cool between us but not according to the terms you using", Edd yearned and shook his head. "We are completely strangers nowadays"  
"Yeah, but that doesn't mean that we have to be strangers, right?", Kevin said and rose an eyebrow. If that was the game Double D wanted to play, sure. Kevin could do cool, his whole attitude circulated around that word. "Well I have to work, I won't bother you again, bye"  
Kevin couldn't concentrate while Edd sat there with his book, completely shut off from the real world. It felt like high school all over again when he had to remind himself to not rest his eyes upon Edd. He accidently dropped hot milk over his hand when he was about to do latte art, the hot liquid burnt him so bad that he needed to take care of it right away. He bit his tongue and whimpered quietly and rushed out to their lunchroom. When he came out again from smearing aloe Vera on his wound, the dork was gone. The seat was empty and it was like he never had been there, except for the half eaten bagel and the empty cup on the mint green tray. That had been his one chance to take Double D back in his life again, but as always Kevin ruined it. But he didn't judge Double D at all because he understood very well why he didn't even want to be around him anymore. If Kevin had a hard time to not judge himself then how did Double D feel about him?  
Kevin sighed and massaged his burnt hand when he took the tray away. This was useless, Kevin had to let this go. He thought the break up was an ended chapter and that he had moved on, that was the greatest lie he had told himself.  
"That was him, right, The boy?", Alice said and smiled when she entered their washing room. "Double D? Should I be mad that you sat down and talked to him during work hour?"  
"Sorry won't happen again", Kevin muttered and leaved the tray with all other dirty dish and began the funny shore, cleaning it.  
"I'll call the boss, oh wait", she laughed at her own joke and blew some of her green hair away from her eyes. "I'm the boss… oh did he leave half of my bagel, such insult!"  
"I feel sorry for your boyfriend if you take uneaten food as an insult", Kevin smiled and glanced at her. "What do you do, force feed him?"  
"No need to, he is a well-trained boy who do as he told", She smiled and began to heave al of the remains in the trashcan, but when she came to Double D's tray she hesitated and picked up the receipt and eyed it. "Hey something is written on the receipt… I think it's for you…"  
In two seconds Kevin threw the plate and kitchen brush back in the soapy water and rushed towards her and grabbed the little piece of paper. His fingers soaked it and made Double D's neat handwriting smudgy but you could still read his little note.

 _I'm willing to give you a second chance to participate in my life  
here is my number / Eddward_

"Ohh you smiling, I have never seen you smile so bright, it was that good huh?", she laughed.  
Kevin shook his head and shoved the little note with Edd's new number in his pocket. "No, whatever… gosh that guy must be so desperate…"Kevin waved nonchalant with his hand and continued to clean the dishes.  
"Okay if you say so Kev", Alice flung her hands in the air and walked out from the dish room.  
When she was gone Kevin couldn't resist making a little victory gesture and he managed to shout a low nearly audible noise. In some way Kevin had convinced Double D to give him another chance. It was too good to be true. Well maybe this December could be a great month after al. Kevin began to work again and he didn't even notice that he whistled in sync with the Christmas songs on the radio.

* * *

 **I changed from Harvard to Oxford University***


	3. Proffesor Vincent

Four days after they met Kevin send Double D a message and asked if they could meet up some day. He didn't want to sound or acting desperate but he wanted to strike while the iron was hot. He sent the dork a message before his shift and felt nervous the whole day while making and paid for orders. He tried to act as normal as possible but Brook, another hipster girl with raspy voice and smudged eyeliner, said Kevin acted jumpy. He laughed it off as footballs nerves, as always during game season. But the hardest part was not to look at the phone every two seconds. At lunch Kevin saw that Double D had seen the messaged but haven't replied. He tried not to make a big deal out of it, he could be busy with work or whatever…  
And Kevin was right because during the evening when he had come home he felt his phone buzzing. Quick as a flash he viewed the display and saw it was Edd who had finally answered

 **I'm quite occupied with work at the university, but we can meet up at the NYU courant institute of mathematical sciences?  
/ Eddward**

K. sounds good, time?

 **12 o'clock tomorrow?  
/E**

 **See ya there.  
**  
Kevin laid the phone at the kitchen table and the microwave beeped and told him that his disgusting TV-dinner was ready, it didn't look appetizing at all but he couldn't afford better food. With a sigh he turned the TV on and decided to watch some football before bed. And when he sat there in his small one room flat with kitchenette he felt butterflies in his stomach. Tomorrow, he needed to make a good impression…. Kevin couldn't concentrate on the game he looked at everything else. What would Double D think if he was here, about the flat? It was filthy alright, clothes on the floor and a secondhand sofa with some stains that didn't want to come off and then al the dishes in the sink he didn't had have the time to do. But it was cozy, Kevin had hung up some Christmas lights on the wall and around the headboard. The view was pretty neat to you could almost see the city skyline. But he bet Eddy had a killer view and an awesome flat, or studio. Why did Kevin get so mad about that? It didn't make sense. He sighed and threw the plastic plate on the floor and decided to go to bed. It was useless to sit here and watch a game he obviously didn't want to see. It was a big day tomorrow and Kevin looked forward to see the dork, even if he was nervous as well. He took of his t-shirt and threw himself in the bed and it squealed. _Let it just be morning already…_

He warned Alice that he would take a long lunch today and half past eleven Kevin stood outside the building Edd had guided him to. He looked up at the tall building with reflecting glass. If he would wait he needed to stand here a half hour. Well he was curious about how Edd was as tutor, why not finding that out? Kevin went inside and with a lot of asking and walking he suddenly stood by a withe door that people said "Proffesor Vincent" held his lecture. Kevin wiped his sweaty palms on his jeans and before he even understood what he was doing he pushed down the handle and went inside. The lecture hall was filled with people sitting in the red seats that was arranged in a half circle directed towards some great blackboards that reached towards the celling. And there in front of everyone stood Edd gesticulated towards the blackboards. They were covered in his handwriting and was full of long and not understandable calculations. His voice echoed around the room from speakers and he sounded more eager and thrilled then Kevin ever heard him during High school. Whatever he said it sounded like gibberish according to Kevin. However, it was impressive to see him standing there and inform other people about stuff he felt passionate about, like he had always done. But now people actually listened to him. They asked him questions and gave him response that the Cul-de-sac teens never had done. People scribbled down notes and was eager about what ever Double D talked about, many people where older than him. Kevin sat down on nearest seat and just observed his ex standing there and looking like one of their own teachers in his orange shirt and yeah, he still wore that ugly yellow tie from junior high.  
"If a function f is continuous on the interval [a, b] and if F is a function whose derivative, is f on the interval (a, b), then…"  
Kevin crossed his arm and leaned back, suddenly he felt sleepy and he remembered why he didn't want to study. The air was heavy and was hard to breathe, so many people in the same room, so much smell of human. Kevin yawned and lifted his glance towards the ceiling, was this thing over soon?  
"And that concluded Fundamental theorem of calculus, Oh dear look at the clock!" Edd said after a while. "We'll have to end the lesson here, thank you for attending and see you on Wednesday and remember to turn in your report this Friday!"  
People began to rustle with paper and began to back everything and was ready to leave. While people walked up the stairs toward the entrance, Kevin tried to elbow his way down towards Double D who stood there with his back turned towards him and erased everything on the blackboards. It had been fun to watch him work tough. He really looked like a teacher and a lot of witty comments with dirty undertones crossed Kevin's mind. Hey do you wanna teach me sexed? _What did he think of?_  
He was about to surprise Edd and say something when suddenly someone rushed past Kevin with to steps at a time down the stairs. It was a guy in their own age. He had brown choppy hair, an Englishmen pale skin and on his nose where round golden glasses. He was as cute and good looking as Double D. The boy shyly patted Double D on his back and they exchanged smiles before the brown-haired guy began to talk.  
"I didn't quite grasp the two parts of the theorem, just to make it clear, the first part deals with the derivative of an antiderivative and the second part deals with the relationship between antiderivatives and definite integrals?", well he was British alright, he had a heavy accent that made Kevin melt a little.  
"Correct,", Double D said with an encouraging smile and pointed at some calculations on the board. "The second part is somewhat stronger than the corollary because it does not assume that f is continuous, if you look here…"  
Kevin looked at them for a while standing at the board and talking total gibberish. Why on earth did they look so comfortable in each other's presences? Kevin sighed and looked up at the ceiling again and waited for them to finish their little geek moment.  
"Ahh I see, so when an antiderivative F exists, then there are infinitely many antiderivatives for f, obtained by adding to F an arbitrary constant. And by the first part of the theorem, antiderivatives of f always exist when f is continuous?"  
"Splendid, well done!" Double D nodded and laid a hand on the brits shoulder. "You got it!"  
Kevin coughed to make his company clear to them both. The guys quieted and spun their heads toward him. Double D seemed surprised and confused at the same time while the other boy just eyed Kevin with curiosity. The silence fell down heavy on them and Kevin bit his chin to not blush.  
"Hi, I waited but it took so long", Kevin said and shrugged, he would never admit that he had sneaked in.  
"Pardon, just had to give Oliver little guidance", Double D said and smiled towards the  
bespectacled guy. "Well see you next Wednesday study hard!"  
"You are a great teacher Eddward", Oliver smiled while straighten his shoulder bag.  
He gave both Edd and Kevin a last glance before he run up the stairs again. _You teacher's pet!_ Kevin thought and rolled his eyes and shoved his hands in his pockets. He knew that sort, could sniff them miles away. Oliver, the cute boy with a homemade knitted sweater from England could talk Eddwards language and tried to be a smartass. And what did Kevin think?! He couldn't be jealous about something this trivial no! _Keep yourself together man!_  
"What do you teaching them?", Kevin began and nodded toward the chalkboard.  
"Oh Calculus, I think it would be tedious if I tried to explain", Edd said and began to swipe the board again.  
"If you say so…", Kevin shrugged and observed Double D 's every movement. "So, where do you wanna eat?"  
"I don't mind if you surprise me, as long as it's nearby", Edd mumbled and steered the different boards up and down so he could reach everything, despite of that he still had to stand on his toes.  
Kevin had a hard time not to embrace him or give him a gently smack on the butt. Why was he so darn hard to stay away from?  
"Don't blame me if I pick a bad place", Kevin said and took a step away from Edd, _be cool, be cool!_  
"I'm positive you won't", Double D said and clapped his hands together and a wide cloud of chalk dust surrounded him and he coughed. "Messy, messy, messy…"  
It seemed he hadn't change so much at al.  
"Well shall we go?"  
"Yes", Double D nodded and took his own shoulder bag and purple coat that hung on a chair. "I'm ready"

Kevin took Double D to a fairly cheap but delicious Indian restaurant. The atmosphere felt warmth and inviting with deep colors of red and brown together with well-polished mahogany furniture's. It was an odd feeling when they sat together and search the menu for food, like old times when they dated. A lot of memories flew around in Kevin's head and yet again he had to tell himself that he would stop being such a idiot. It ended up with that both ordered red curry and Kevin bought soda while Edd ordered ice tea.  
"I hope you like it", Kevin said while taking his first bite.  
"You used to have an outstanding sense of taste", Edd said and took his first mouthful. "And that has not change"  
And just like that the spell was broken. They began to talk and it felt like the four years never happened. Their conversation was about everything and nothing, about what they had done and what kind of people they hung out with nowadays. Edd told the story about his quick climb on the ladder of academy and science. He had studied 200% two terms and had wrote two exams during the same semester. Kevin wondered if that was just because he wanted to, or if it was something else, like, forgetting Kevin and their bad breakup? Of course he didn't ask but he was curious about that fact. Everyone was amazed about that bright young boy and they gave him a window of opportunity to get a Phd, then NYU wanted him and Oxford couldn't decline.  
"Eddy enforced me to come because it was a great opening", Double D said and gestured with his hands. "And he desired help with his corporation"  
"Company?", Kevin asked and raised an eyebrow.  
"Yes, a joint-stock-company", Double D nodded. "They sell and buy stocks and he is excellent at it"  
"I'm not surprised, he's a good scammer" Kevin shrugged and it was hard not to sound harsh or sarcastic.  
"I'm more interested why you moved from Peach creek?", Edd said and looked at Kevin with curious eyes. "And why New York City?"  
"I had nothing to do, needed a change", Kevin shrugged again. "New York felt like a good start, but I'm stuck and don't know what to do…"  
"I'm optimistic you'll figure it out", Double D smiled and dabbed a red napkin around his mouth. "Well it was a lovely lunch and it was nice to catch up, after all this time"  
"Yeah, same", Kevin scratched his neck, he didn't want this to end. "A dinner, soon?"  
"Gladly", Double D smiled and rose from the chair. "I'll tell you when I'm available"  
"Of course", Kevin leaved the tip and took his old red cap on. "Glad we talked"  
"So am I…"  
Outside it was time to go separate ways and yet again Kevin wanted to hug and kiss that dork good bye. But that was nothing Double D would accept so they just waved and Kevin saw the scrawny guy disappear around a block yet again. But this time he felt kind of happy with a big lump in his chest, it this was good or bad he didn't know. He was just glad to know that this time they would meet again, and Kevin needed to take this slow.


	4. Cognitive behavioral therapy session

"Greetings Eddy, I'm home"  
Eddward closed the door gently and hanged is coat on a clothes hanger and folded his scarf and laid It on top of the shelf. It had been a delightful day actually. First the lecture that he had feared would become a disaster but turned out to be remarkable, second of al he and Kevin's lunch that hadn't felt awkward at all, the concern about Kevin and the distress towards his intention had been unfounded. That happy feeling was sadly ephemeral because when Eddward faced the studio his smile slowly faded and disappeared. It looked like a grenade had exploded, disseminated every single thing around the apartment. Clothes laid on the couch, china and glass balanced on each other in the sink. Wet footprints trailed from the bathroom towards their red curtains they had hung up to make two separate bedrooms.  
"Hey Double D", Eddy said and peeked out from the draperies with a big smile and damp hair.  
"What on earth have you done, Eddy!?", Edward bawled and pressed his hands over his mouth.  
"Oh sorry but its Friday, date night you know", Eddy shrugged and disappeared behind the curtains again.  
"You promised Eddy, I'm still under therapy!", Double D said with broken voice, his whole body began to itch, became dirty for each second he stood there covered in germs and filth.  
"Oh come on Sockhead?", Eddy sighed and Eddward could smell the strong scent from his friend expensive aftershave. "It's not even dirty, I'm gonna pic up everything tomorrow no need freak out!"  
Eddward stood there by the front door with his arms around himself. He felt trapped, like when you paint yourself into a corner. He did not want to go out, but he could not bear to go inside. Eddy separated the curtains and he looked exquisite while wearing his best clothes and he had his hair in a back slick. He looked like the young company owner he were. Eddward stood put with an expression of hopefulness about understanding and compassion. Eddward had worked with his OCD and Eddy had on oath assured to keep it clean and a promise of a trigger free environment guaranteed. Of course he would violate their agreement and not take them seriously. Sadly enough Eddward was not surprised, his shallow friend had always put himself in first place. Even when Eddy saw his friend struggles and not realize Eddwards agony and how hard he tried to not go crazy.  
"Take a chill pill and relax, you promised to not freak out over mess, you know how I am?!", Eddy yelled and flung out with his hands.  
"I hoped you would have some consideration..."mumbled Eddward and blinked some tears away.  
"Ohh, Double D", Eddy sighed, realized he had stepped on some very sensitive toes. "Bear this 'til tomorrow, I need to go…"  
"Eddy please I am pleading to you, just try to have some sympathy, my brain can't wait until tomorrow to clean this…" Eddward cried and gestured towards their studio. "I… need to focus on my PhD and…"  
"Well just go into your room and forget that this even exist and when you wake up tomorrow it'll be clean?" Eddy shrugged yet again and put hon his jacket. "I'm sorry but I'm out"  
And just liked that, Eddy showed his friend away and leaved him there with all the mess. Did Eddward even want to know how the bathroom looked like? He just stood there and sucked in his lip, what would he do? He couldn't just go away in this fragile state of mind, what if he got a melt down before he got near a hotel? Eddward knew what he needed to do, breathe in and out, he had done his CTS exercises, he knew how to relax and breathe trough the anxiety. _Deep inhale through your nose exhale with your mouth, feel the tension ease with each breath_. This would not work, he could not find his inner calm right now. He felt a need to calm down somehow. Maybe if he talked to someone to would ease his agony? Ed was excluded because he where at a comic-convention, Eddward could never call his coworkers and Oliver… no. His therapist? CERTAINLY NOT. _You could call Kevin?_ No that was silly. Edd shook his head and whimpered, but he would soon go crazy. The urge to clean and take a disinfectant shower became stronger and stronger, simmered within him and was ready to explode. _Al the germs!_ He did not want to give Eddy the satisfaction to come home to a hygienic studio. After all it was Eddy's untidiness, Eddy would pick up after himself. He grabbed his phone and looked at the display, and with shaking fingers he scrolled through the contact list.

The music was loud even in the bathroom the bass vibrated through your body. As if it wasn't hard enough to piss straight because of the booze. Kevin zipped his pants and walked a little unsteady towards the basins. Everything had started with an after work beer. Neither him, Brook or Alice had planned to go out clubbing. That just happened, but Kevin wasn't unhappy about it. He was pleasantly drunk and felt like he could concur the world. He had flirted with some chicks and maybe he wouldn't sleep alone tonight, he hoped that was the case anyway. This maybe helped him to forget Edd as well, just for tonight at least. He washed his hands and was just about to go out to the club again when the phone ranged. Clumsy he picked up the phone and tried to focus on the display, it was useless everything just mashed together. He answered anyway.  
"Yo", he said, tried not to slur too much.  
"Hello, is this… Kevin?"  
Despite his fogginess and the high music from the dancefloor he would recognize that voice everywhere.  
"Double D? Hi!", Kevin said with a great smile. "Do you miss me so much?"  
"Ohh I overhear you are occupied I'll call later…", he sounded fragile and sad, even that Kevin recognized.  
"Double D what's wrong?", immediately Kevin's head cleared a little bit.  
"Nothing… just… Eddy messed up our studio and I tried to talk to him but he just, it's so filthy", Double D's voice quivered. "Pardon me, I'm irrational, I just want to go to my room but…"  
"Well okay, take deep breaths", Kevin fought the urge to sigh _, oh my god I don't have time for this!_ "Walk while we talk, what did you do today after lunch?"  
"I… I… wrote and analyzed some material to my PhD", Double D began.  
"Tell me more about your PhD you never did during lunch"  
"I focus on tensor networks and graphical calculus for open quantum systems, I want to review the theory of open quantum systems and other fundamental primitives of quantum information theory… I think I can describe a graphical calculus for completely positive maps to make it work… but this not working Kevin! I can't move… I'll have to clean this up!"  
"No... No listen to me Eddy will not take advantage of your illness!", Kevin mumbled, he had nearly fall asleep standing straight up, leaning against a wall.  
"Have you consume alcohol? You give the impression to be drunk", Double D asked.  
"I'm on a club, what do you think?", Kevin scoffed. "You changing subject, just stay put I'll come over, don't do anything, don't pick up that Shrimps filth"  
"Kevin that's not necessary, I.. I'll…"  
"Stop arguing, text me the address now", Kevin hung up.  
Surprisingly Edd did as he was told because during the time Kevin lied to his friends to get out from the club (he told them he felt sick and needed to go home) and catch a cab Edd did text him their address. _Why did he even do this?_  
Around 40 minutes later Kevin stood by the door and rang the bell. When no one answered he pulled the handle but it didn't budge. Kevin knocked one, two, three, four times and finally the door opened and before Double D had the chance to let Kevin in he walked in and gently pushed Edd aside. He smelled the strong sent of the familiar strong cleaning supplies Edd used. Seriously he couldn't restrain himself? However Kevin got pretty amazed by the big and light flat. It looked modern with all the stainless steel kitchen appliances and square and neat furniture's, and of course the shrimp had a disco bowl hanging in the ceiling. It reflected the light and made small square shaped lighting dots al around the room. Well it was fresh and neat, but not so cozy. Kevin focused on Double D again who just stood there with rubber gloves and a mop in his hand. Yet again he saw destress in the poor guys blue eyes. Kevin smiled and walked slowly towards Edd who gradually walked backwards away from him. _Oh come on what did he think?_ They had played this game so many times before. Kevin could just smirk and Edd surely forgot about filth and… well, everything. Kevin knew how to ease the dork's OCD and so did Edd.  
"Just drop the mop", Kevin sighed and when Edd pressed is back against the wall, he knew he was trapped. "Come on cope with me"  
"Kevin, please…", pleaded Edd but Kevin didn't listen and grabbed the handle and threw it on the floor.  
"Let's have a little cognitive behavioral therapy session shall we?", Kevin said and grabbed Double D's hands and took of the gloves as well. "We'll walk towards your so called room, that's what you want, right?"  
"Kevin you are drunk"  
"No… schhh", Kevin smiled and placed a finger over Edd's lips. "Just follow my lead"  
Kevin have had too many drinks, yes. Sadly Double D was cuter than ever and after the club and the girls who worked him up, he couldn't help himself. He let his finger follow the outline of Edd's lips and the shy boy quivered. That just made him harder to resist. Kevin determined to follow this through grabbed Double D by the wrist and just dragged him towards the curtains he assumed was something like bedrooms. He swiped the fabric away quite easy and as soon as he saw Edd's terrarium of ants he knew he had picked right room. He pushed Edd down on the bed and Kevin crossed his arms.  
"You are in your room now, that's was easy right?", Kevin smiled and walked towards the bed and sat beside the dork who quickly moved away. "Oh come on, I'm not toxic"  
"I- I… want you to leave Kevin, thank you but I was a mistake to call you and…" Edd began and covered himself up by pressing his legs towards his stomach and hug them tight. "Please, can you go I don't want to disturb you anymore…"  
"Well just tell me that I should go with a more firm voice and I'll", Kevin shrugged and gave Double D a sly smile. "I'm not convinced you want me to"  
"Kevin you are about to cross a delicate line, don't make me regret taking you back in my life, do I have to remind you, as a friend!"  
"I can work with friends, friends are excellent but, if you want me to go just tell me", Kevin moved closer to Double D who was curled up at the inner corner of the bed.  
"I want you to leave", Double D stuttered. "Now"  
"Not convinced", Kevin smiled and moved even closer.  
"Go, now I can handle myself", Double D babbled but he became quite when Kevin's breath tickled his neck and ear. "Please?"  
"Come on, I know you want me to stay", Kevin laughed and softly nibbled Double D's ear. "You just fooling yourself"  
And with that said Kevin kissed Double D, and not gentle. He forced Double D's lips to separate, eager to fulfill what he wanted to. After a while Edd gave in and began to kiss him back and trailed his fingers through Kevin's hair. Edd eased in Kevin's grip and bit by bit he got Double D to lay down with Kevin pressed on top how him. He had missed this so much. The dorks soft lips, tender hands exploring his body, the smell of sweet soaps, cinnamon and apple because of the holidays, his flat stomach and soft skin. Kevin sat astride on top of Edd and began to unbutton Double D's shirt with butter fingers. They got eye contact both flustered and eager of wanting and desire.  
"Double D, do you want me to stop? Serious now?", Kevin said and actually this time he meant it. "I can go"  
Double D shook his head and Kevin felt how Edd's hands unzipped his jeans. "No"  
And with that Kevin was reassured that he could continue to unbutton Double D's shirt while giving him kisses which trailed down from his month to his neck, and continued to his collarbone. Kevin would not sleep alone after all.

* * *

 **I can't write more about their night because I'm awfull at this stuff HAHA *fluster***


	5. I'm sorry

The first feeling was confusion when Kevin opened up his eyes next morning. He didn't recognized the withe ceiling he looked up at and it didn't smell like his own apartment. Then he felt something moving next to him and it wasn't before he saw Edd's black curls he remembered everything. Nausea crept inside him, made every nerve twitch and crawl. _What had he done?_ It wasn't that Kevin hadn't want it, they were amazing together and they knew it. It was just that nothing was easy with Edd, nothing could be laughed of and you could never say: Ops I guess we screwed up a big time, oh well no harm done! Kevin took a deep breath and soaked his lips, this wasn't good at al. He glanced at Double D who slept beside him. The last thing Kevin wanted to do was to hurt that guy. The black haired boy's chest slowly moved up and down and he looked so calm. Kevin didn't want to wake him up and make everything into chaos.  
Well he didn't need to do that apparently.  
"Hey Double D I'm sorry about yesterday I mean… oh my god really?! SHOVEL CHIN?""  
Edd flung up with winded eyes and got so flustered when he analyzed the situation. Kevin and Dobule D was equally fast to cover themselves up with blankets, while Eddy just stood there chocked and eyed them with a red face. Kevin bit his lips and closed his eyes, the bomb was triggered time for the chockwave.  
"Kevin, can you leave?", Double D said with a small and pale voice. "Now?"  
"Double D please…", Kevin begun but Edd shook his head and tighten the blankets around him.  
"Eddy can you leave us?", Edd said and looked at his short friend who finally let de curtains down and his footsteps disappeared, soon you could hear the TV.  
Kevin didn't know how long they just sat there in bed, Edd tugging at a little thread from the blanket and Kevin who just waited for a response from the dork. Could he just say something? Or react… or something?  
"Edd speak to me" Kevin sighed and reached out to touch him but Double D squirmed away.  
"What do you want me to say Kevin?", Edd said still so soft, like he couldn't bear to yell or scream. "It's okay? It was an accident and it won't repeat?"  
"Well, yeah? Because it's just what it is!", Kevin rose an eyebrow. "I was drunk and…"  
"Just get dressed and leave", Kevin could see a tear trailing down the Sockhead's cheek.  
Kevin was about to say something but changed his mind and shut his mouth. He rose from the bed and got dressed. Everything was ruined and it had begun so well between them, Kevin had blew it yet again. He buttoned his shirt and zipped his jeans.  
"For the recon Edd, you wanted it as much as I did… I didn't force you", Kevin said and looked back at the skinny yet beautiful boy who sat there like a fragile butterfly.  
"I know…", Edd mumbled.  
"Hey dork listen, nothing is destroyed and I promise it won't happen again, it was a slip back nothing more" Kevin flung out with his hands and rolled his eyes.  
"Is that the speech you gave Nazz as well?", Double D looked up at Kevin, devastated.  
"Whatever" Kevin couldn't take it anymore and with a scoff he leaved Double D there alone in the bed, it hurt like hell to leave him like this but what could he do _? I do more damage than the Shrimp…_  
Kevin saw Eddy sitting there in their coach and watching judge Judy with a soda can in his hand. During two seconds Kevin wanted to yell and tell Eddy to stop triggering Double D's OCD but that would be hypocritical. Instead they just glanced at one another. Eddy had grew a little taller and even when he laid there in the coach he looked like a young business man. Kevin thought about Jordan Belfort, The wolf of Wall Street who had scammed and plotting against the whole society. Why did Kevin feel so completely naked while comparing himself with that dork? It was like Kevin just saw how little he could offer compared to others. He took his jacket and zipped it, he wanted to get out of here. But as soon as he laid his hand on the door handle he felt a hand on his shoulder. He turned his head and saw it was Eddy.  
"I'm just telling you this once, leave Double D alone will ya? You have caused enough damage as it is and he had just worked himself to pieces to let go of you", Eddy said with a dead serious tone. "Just stay away"  
"Shut up, you know nothing", Kevin snarled and shook of Eddy's hand and slammed the door shut behind him.

* * *

Eddward jolted when the door closed with an effort contained with psychical pain.  
"He's gone and you can come out", Eddy yelled towards Eddward. "Now I'm eager to hear how this happened"  
Eddward sucked in his lips and closed his eyes. He was so angry at himself for letting his desires towards that ginger get hold of him. With slow movements he got dressed and he put on his old black sock hat. Every effort to move was hard and it felt like physical pain jolt through every muscle and joint. When he was about to walk outside to face Eddy and his questioning his cellphone told him that a text massaged had arrived. Eddward looked at it and a little uneasy he saw it was from Kevin.

 **I'm sorry/Kev**

Eddward wanted to forgive Kevin, by all his heart he wanted to. But the reliance built on trust was gone. They both was weak for each other and he could not have such drama surrounding him when he had a PhD to think about. It was difficult to restrain himself from answering the message, but he positioned his phone on the desk and leaved the bedroom. As promised Eddy had cleaned up his mess and the studio looked decent yet again. It was comforting to know someone listened to his requests. At least Eddy tried to make up for his mistakes.  
"Shovel chin huh?", Eddy said and crossed both arms and legs and smiled towards his friend. " You said you two had begun to talk again but I thought you two where an ended chapter"  
"Correct, we are", Eddward said and took a seat next to his friend. "I called him when you had left and he had consumed alcohol and I my mind was fragile… I'm utterly regretful about everything, foremost that it's your apartment and you had to…"  
"Woah its cool dude, we need a code a tie around the bathroom door or something", Eddy laughed and shrugged. "Don't think about it"  
Eddward nodded. "I can guarantee it won't happen again…"  
"With Kevin? I hope so because he did hurt you a lot, don't let him do it again, take a guy that will treat you right", Eddy said and begun to channel surfing. "I said it then and I say it now, you two are like aliens from different planets it will never work"  
Eddward nodded yet again and rose up from the couch. What he needed was a hot drink, hot chocolate with peppermint would ease his nerves and made him feel a little better. Cocoa secreted endorphins which could fool you brain of believe that you were happy. Yes that was what he needed.  
"Hey while standing", Eddy shrew the empty soda can towards Eddward who caught it. "Fetch me a new soda will ya?"  
"Yes Eddy", Eddward said and walked to their kitchenette and washed the inside of the can.  
But if he felt so remorseful why did he felt equally happy about what had happened? Everything had been like their old days and Eddward did miss it. What was he supposed to do with all this contained feelings? Kevin had sparked the flame again and soon it would become a fire if none of them were careful enough. Kevin could not be trusted, Eddward hold onto that thought while doing hot chocolate, it would never work out.


	6. Hurtful truth

Couple of day passed and Kevin and Edd decided to think that their night togheter had been a slip back and they would build a bridge over it and don't think about it. They met up a couple of times after that, ate lunch and it begun to feel a little better. Kevin worked and Double D was busy with his PhD and had nearly never time to meet up but Kevin felt quite good. It was weekend yet again and the dark evening surrounded the city and the first couple of stars shone. The snow slowly fell down in big puffy flakes and the cold made smoke out of your breath. Kevin kicked pebbles around and sighed. Quite good was the word, it was great that they tried to be friends and stuff but Double D was still distance. Brook, Nat, Alice… all of his friends told him to ease up and forget it and it was nothing. But Kevin understood that Edd held up that shield because he didn't want anything to happen. Because when they met up it was under time pressure, one of them had things to do afterwards and it was just because Edd wanted to be sure that nothing could happen. Maybe it was time to face the fact and forget that it could be something between them again? But how easy was it to completely forget your first crush? The one person that actually had made you feel good about yourself? If he could erase that part of him he would.  
Kevin stopped at the bridge and leaned on his palms and sighed so strong that smoke trailed from his nose and mouth. He looked at the people who ice skated on the rink nearby. It was many people who had decided to show up here a Saturday evening. Children who clumsily tried to stand on their own and their parents who helped them up under encouragement and laughs, couples who slowly embraced each other and kissed in the shadows of the headlights. Last winter it was he and Edd who would had stand there in the shadow and whispering lovely stupid thing towards each other. Kevin scratched the back of his head and decide it was time to leave. Why did everything involving winter made him feel so lonely?  
"Kevin?", a soft yet nasal voice said, he didn't need to see the person to know who it was.  
"Yo", Kevin said and turned around and there Double D stood with hockey skates in his hands. "What's up?"  
"Well…", Edd began but got interrupted by another person.  
"Hi Eddward ready to learn how to ice skate?"  
Kevin looked behind the dork and there the young student Oliver came towards them. The boy had a bright smile on his face and his glasses was placed on the tip of his nose. A pair of ice skates hanged around his neck and they pumped on his chest while he walked. Kevin took a step back from Double D and shoved his hands in his pockets… oh boy.  
"Hi Oliver", Edd said and greeted Oliver with a smile, but he soon he paid Kevin attention again. "In matter of fact Kevin I was about to call you, do you want to eat dinner with me and Oliver tomorrow? We saw a great restaurant and maybe…"  
"No thanks I'm good…", Kevin sighed and he felt his heart crumble a bit. "I'm busy but have fun."  
Kevin didn't need to hear anymore, he would just get angrier. He pulled at his hood to hide his face and begun to walk away from the bridge. If this was the case, which Eddward would be afraid to be around him why bother to even be friends? Kevin had come as far as the end of the bridge when someone grabbed him in his lover arm and turned him around. It was Edd's blue eyes he met and Kevin was chocked that they actually was dark of irritation.  
"Kevin, grow up", Edd said with a sturdy and firm voice. "You act like a child, it was just an invitation, and to snarl like that in front of Oliver is not polite"  
"Oh sorry!", Kevin wiggled out of Ed's grip and took a step back. "But I have offered a dinner like four times but you had said no, and now when Oliver can come with, you agree? It's like you seriously avoiding me!"  
"It's not like that", Edd sighed and shrugged. "But speaking of this matter, do you think you can do whatever you prefer? Didn't you thought for one second that it would be consequences after our night?", Edd sighed and massaged his temples. "It's always like this, you act first and think later"  
"What's wrong about taking risks and do whatever you feel like?" Kevin yelled and threw his hands in the air. "You are so afraid about to not have control and…"  
"When'll you actually take a college degree? You make delicious coffee but are you going to work as a barista during the rest of your life? Living in a cold and according to you 'shitty' apartment? Things like that Kevin makes me question what intentions you have towards everything in your life", Edd eyed Kevin who just stood there with an open mouth. "It's not that I don't like you Kevin, but we are clearly at different chapters…"  
"Okay, fine! Study hard like always, get your PhD degree and be with your smart friends and play safe and boring cards, but don't lecture me about what I'm doing with my life!" Kevin pointed a finger at Double D and pressed it so hard in the guy's chest so he took a step back.  
"We have just met each other again and we fight like before, is this not evidence enough?" Edd whispered and looked at Kevin "I'm utterly sorry, phone me when you feel better", Double D said and took the skates in a firmer grip.  
It felt like every other fight they have had and Kevin couldn't take it anymore. Every time he had travelled to Oxford it had ended with some sort of fight, if it was because of Kevin leaved toothpaste on the towel it was Kevin who got angry at Edd and his indecisiveness. This maybe was a wakeup call, it was no use to even try, Or? Kevin shrugged and eyed Double D who began to walk away and he saw how he and Oliver exchanged looks. The two boys exchanged words and Oliver said something that made Double D's expression to lighten up a bit and he actually laughed. Kevin couldn't stand it anymore. He turned around and walked away from them; he had heard, talked and seen enough. He would let them be together and have fun. But he felt a gnawing feeling in his chest and if it was jealousy he couldn't tell. One thing was for sure, Double D would stand his ground this time. And that made Kevin feel awful.

His purpose was not to end in a gay bar, it just happened. Soon he sat there with a beer in hand and scanned the bar and all the people inside. He had wanted someone to occupy his mind just for the night. He needed to think of someone else and doing it with someone else, just to feel a little better. But no one was fun and the persons who came to talk to Kevin was not interesting enough to spark an interest. Two hours later Kevin paid for his drinks and decided it was time to leave. He said good bye to a guy that actually looked a little sad when Kevin wouldn't follow him home. He was hot with stubble on his chin and those brown eyes made Kevin melt a bit. But he was not in the mood, even if he wanted to be. They exchanged numbers but Kevin was sure that neither one of them would call. He would go home, play some video games and then go to sleep. This had been a lousy Saturday and Kevin just wanted it to end.  
Every thought disappeared when Kevin heard some concerning noises from the alley behind the pub. It sounded like someone kicked something soft, like a garbage bag, multiple times and you could clearly hear laughter, and whimpering? Kevin didn't gave a second thought to investigate. When he peeked behind the corner and when he saw what happened his stomach twisted. There in the darkness he could see two men standing on top off another guy and kicked him and punched him in the face and stomach. The poor guy tried to crawl away but in vain. This couldn't prolong. Kevin ran towards the guys and his unzipped jacket flapped around him.  
"Hey stop!"  
He grabbed a fistful of one of the guys coat and without even thinking he punched him in the face. The hand throbbed and the guy whined and cursed but stumbled away. The two got so chocked that Kevin had time to help the miserable and hurt guy on the ground back on his feet. They got eye contact and Kevin saw that he wasn't older than himself. Eyes filled with fear and blood trailing down his mouth.  
"Are you alright?" Kevin asked and the boy nodded, there and then, he felt someone grab his upper arm and his heart jolted, they needed to get away. "Run, get help… RUN FOR FUCK SAKE!"  
The boy ran away without looking back. Kevin tried to squirm and kick to get out of the man's grip but he got a sturdy hold of his both arms. What had Kevin get himself into? Double D's words about acting first and think later echoed inside his head, so stupid! The other man just laughed and cracked his knuckles and eyed Kevin head to toe. The panic rose and Kevin tried to kick the man in front of him between the legs. HE didn't reach and with that he inhaled to scream. He would die, he was sure of it!  
"You should have mind your own business, fag!", the man laughed.  
The first punch in Kevin's stomach made him dizzy and his eyes got unfocused. He tried to stand straight but one of them kicked him down to the ground. The cold wet concrete soaked Kevin's clothes and then they began to kick him. Each kick made him numb, in the head, in the chest, on his back, every inch of his body ached. He got zooned out and his ears began to ring. It was when Kevin laid there without moving an inch they stopped. Kevin could hear their running footsteps disappear and an engine from a car rumble in the distance. The red lights from the back lights blinded him and after that everything went black.

* * *

Double D held Oliver's hand to maintain balance. It was much harder to ice skate then he had thought. But they had fun and he had forgot about Kevin. Edd could not comfort him If he desired to be grumpy and moody. After all his bad mood would not destroy his and Oliver's evening together. Yet again he felt how the ice slipped away under him and his grip got firmer he and Oliver laughed. They had been here a couple of hours but he had not learn how to stand on his own feet quite yet.  
"I got you", Oliver said took a hold around Double D's elbow. "We'll try it again alright?"  
Then Double D heard his phone ringing. The first thought was to ignore it and continue, but when it didn't stop to buzz and the ringtone never healed he had no choice. The display shoved it was Eddy who called him, what did he want? Double D swiped right to answer.  
"Hello Eddy, pardon but I'm…"  
"Double D, listen, Nat just messaged me on facebook and I need to tell you something, sit down, it's about Kevin"


	7. Oliver

When Kevin woke up he felt the strong sterile sent of hospital and he heard a monotone beeping sound from some sort of machine. He slowly opened his eyes and everything around him was blurry, it took a while to completely focus. It looked like every other hospital, withe walls and furniture and mint green floor. The TV was on mute and it showed Conan O'Brien. Then he saw him, sitting on a chair beside the bed sleeping with his upper body lying on top Kevin's legs. Even tough Kevin had a throbbing headache and his body felt like overcooked pasta he smiled. What on earth did the dork do here? And what had actually happened? Where were he and who had got him here? He genteelly shook Double D's shoulder and he opened his eyes and sat up within two red seconds. The poor guy looked as awful as Kevin felt. Dark circle under his red eyes and his hat was slightly askew. They got eye contact and something within Edd seemed to calm down, ease a bit.  
"Hi…", Kevin said and he hadn't time to finish before Double D embraced him.  
"Don't ever do that again!", the guy said with tired and raspy voice. "What on earth were you thinking?"  
Kevin hugged him back. "You look awful by the way"  
"You should see your face", Double D sighed and traced a finger over Kevin's eyebrow, it hurt like hell and Kevin bit his lip to force himself not to whine. "What if they had have guns Kevin?"  
"I don't care and I hope I get a scar…", Kevin whispered. "I'm tired of this shit, why can't people just accept that homosexuality is not wrong?"  
"Oh Kev", Double D shook his head and hugged him again. "You cannot disappear do you understand that? I was so afraid"  
"How long have I been out and how long have you been here?", Kevin continued and as soon as he whined Edd withdraw and placed himself on the chair again.  
"A couple of hours?", Double D said and scratched his neck. "And I came here as soon as I heard"  
Even if Kevin felt bad about worrying Double D it warmth his heart to know that he actually had cared about this. He couldn't resist to mess a little with the dork's hat, it nearly came of his head. They both laughed a bit but soon Kevin needed to rest his head on one of the pillows and he sighed, so tired and so much headache.  
"Have someone else visit me?", Kevin asked an closed his eyes.  
"Your female friends from work, and all the Cul-de-sac friends sends their regards", Double D answered. "Rolf expressed that I would state this: Kevin boy must be more careful, otherwise I'll send Wilfred on a quest of revenge to make him regret his actions of carelessness"  
"They know… and my parents?", Kevin felt that he had no energy to talk to his parents or anything of that sort right now.  
"My parents claimed that they drove to the airport as soon as they knew", Double D shrugged. "So I'm uncertain"  
"Okay, I'll deal with them later, when I have slept", Kevin yawned, his whole face burnt with pain. "It looks like you need a rest too"  
"Positive", Edd yawned and rose up from the chair. "I'll inform the nurses that you are conscious and after that…"  
"Edd, shut up and come here", Kevin made room on the bed and clapped next to him on the mattress. "The nurses will come soon enough"  
Yet again he saw Edd's cheeks turn red and he looked a bit indecisive. Kevin shrugged and turned on his side, facing the wardrobe instead of Double D. He had threw the ball and it was Double D's duty to catch it and do whatever he felt like. A tension built up inside him and Kevin wanted so bad that Double D would choose to stay. It took maybe two minutes before he felt how Edd carefully lay down beside him and during that time Kevin had become nervous. The boy's breathe tickling his neck and Kevin got goosebumps who traveled all over his body. He turned around and their noses touched, a more intimate gesture between them then kisses sometimes. He laughed when he saw Double D's flustered face and the dork sucked in his lip as always when he became nervy. Kevin hoped he hadn't went too far yet again, but that thought had been unfounded. Everything ended with Double D grabbing a fistful of Kevin's hospital shirt and curled up next to him. Kevin laid a hand over Edd and pulled him even closer in return. Their bodies intertwined and their breath in sync with one another.  
"I'm so relieved that you are okay", Edd whispered.  
Kevin smiled and hugged the dork. "I'll never leave…"  
When one of the nurses came to check on the patient she found the two boys laying in each other arms sleeping tight.

When Kevin finally could leave the hospital everyone had told him that his actions had been stupid. And Kevin could partly agree with them, but in some degree he couldn't. He had saved someone's life and that was good enough to Kevin to proclaim that his actions had been necessary. Brook and Alice had got overjoyed when Kevin came to the work four days after the incident and they had celebrate with a splendid lunch. The rumors around Kevin had spread and some of their customers asked about it and Kevin didn't decline. Soon it was like everyone knew and people told him how heroic he was and well, Kevin felt like a superhero of some sort. He was certain that he wouldn't get any scar, but as long as his bruises was visible he would wear them with pride. However, thing's with Double D stayed the same. After that hospital night everything went back to normal. Or they texted a little more frequent but other than that nothing more happened, which was a bummer. Kevin could not help himself to feel a bit annoyed about it. He wanted so bad to have Double D again that it hurt sometimes thinking about it. Above all, it was hard to see him pick other people to do things with.  
"Hi Kevin, you looking better, the bruises are nearly gone!"  
Speaking about the devil. Kevin didn't need to see Oliver to recognize his cute British accent. But Kevin forced a smile and turned his head a bit. And there he stood at the counter and waved with his pay card. Kevin nodded and gave the boy a service minded grin and walked towards him. What did he want? He was never here without Edd. It wasn't that Oliver was a bad person or an irritating one. He just triggered something in Kevin that made him feel irritated and annoyed.  
"Thanks, the usual?", Kevin asked and rose an eyebrow.  
"Yes and a hot chocolate to Eddward", Oliver said and smiled.  
"Alright", Kevin nodded and took their order, the way that boy said _choc_ olate was so adorable. "Where do you have Edd?"  
"He's writing on his PhD and I wanted to surprise him", Oliver answered and leaned against the counter.  
"Doesn't it feel a bit weird to hang out with your professor so much?", Kevin asked and eyed Oliver who immediately became a bit stiff. "I'm just curious?"  
"It does not, we became friends when he traveled to Harvard it was a couple of years ago now", Oliver said and shrugged. "Why do you ask?"  
"Oh nothing, like I said, curious", Kevin said while steaming milk.  
So Double D had been to England? How come he hadn't said that? When Kevin thought about it he hadn't told so much about Oliver at al. How come? It was something he needed to ask next time the saw each other.  
"Here you go" Kevin and handed the brit his order  
"Thanks!", Oliver took the paper cups and eyed Kevin. "Take care will you? No more fighting?"  
"I'll try", Kevin said and laughed.  
"Good because Eddwad does really care about you, hope you know that"  
Kevin hadn't time to reply because Oliver was gone as soon as he had said that. It warmed a lot to hear but same time he felt so sad and empty . He knew that Edd cared and that made it even harder to embrace the fact that it would not be anything more between them than friendship. After all, Eddward had his other friends now, like Oliver. And actually he would not be surprised if something was going on between them. That thought made Kevin's heart crumble and he bit his lip. Oliver was smart, nice and an adorable guy, everything Double D needed in his life. Kevin just gave him a hard time. It was obvious why he kept him at a distance. No one who triggered his OCD, none to watch out for and so on. The more Kevin looked at their friendship in Edd's perspective the more everything made sense. Kevin was not good enough to that dork… it was just to face the facts.


	8. December 23

**Hey hope everyone had a great holiday!**  
 **I'm sorry I haven't upload anything this was supposed to be an christmas story so bare with me here my friends. I'll keep the festive spirit and are you with me?! :D**

* * *

It was the 23 of December and toniight was the yearley tradition to meeting up with his Cul-de-sac friends. It was one thing that really made Kevin feel uneasy and that was the fact that Eddy was the host this year. As long as Kevin could remember the Ed's had never showed up during their annually party. But this year he was positive they would show up and Kevin didn't know if he could handle everything. It would be a severe flashback and he wasn't ready for it. Beside last time he had been there Eddy had walked up on him after he and Double D had have sex. If the shrimp joked about it tonight Kevin would knock his teeth out.

The bell rang on his apartment and Kevin who sat in his boxers eyed the door and continued to play GTA V. However he was not in the mood to see someone. The bell rang again and this time someone tugged on the handle.  
"Hey open up Kev!",  
"Yeah stupid!"  
It was Nazz and Nat. Kevin rearranged his glasses in a more comfortable position on his nose before he walked towards the door. Why hadn't one of them called him before their arrival? Nat was supposed to stay over and it would have been nice of him to give a warning. He glanced at the door one more time before he unlocked it, with a sigh. One second later the door flung up and Nat stormed into the hall with a grin. Kevin jumped back so he and the teal haired boy shouldn't collide into one another. After that whirlwind of excitement landed on the bed Nazz walked in with a smile and Kevin felt utterly naked in his boxers. He felt how his cheeks redden and he crossed his arm over his bare chest.  
"Well are the hero ready to party?!", laughed Nat and threw a pillow towards Kevin who caught it in the midair.  
"No, it's just a stupid party with stupid…", Kevin began but Nazz interrupted him.  
"They are your childhood friends come on", Nazz rolled her eyes and Kevin saw how she started to rummage through his closet. "Everyone want to see you, last they heard from you, you was at the hospital"  
"Our Hero need to emerge and tell his story about bravery and…", Nat laughed but he could not continue because Kevin jumped on top of him and tried to choke him with the pillow.  
"I'll come if you two shut up!" Kevin half snarled half laughed and accidently Nat nocked his glasses of. "Hey!"  
"Come on you never use them!", Nat rose up from the bed and fetched them on the floor.  
"I do! When I read, or play video games or…"  
"Boys! Focus, Kevin you need clothes and Nat fetch our bags in the corridor, oh my god!", Nazz threw a pair of jeans and a soft shirt and pullover to Kevin. "Put them on and then we're heading to Eddy, like, now?"

One hour later they rang the bell on Eddy's apartment and Kevin shoved his hands down in his pockets. Never in his entire life had he thought that he would stand here again. Could this party just end so he could go home again? He had no intention of…  
"Oh Kevin boy, long time no see yes?", Rolf gave Kevin a big hug and dragged him into the studio. "You have to tell us the story of your life here in the giant apple and after that I'll tell you the story of Rolf and his life in the old country"  
"Oh it's Kevin!"  
"Hi kev"  
"Long time no see!"  
It felt like the old days when everyone had looked up at him as a role model. Everyone wanted to greet him and Kevin had a hard time to smile and look happy to meet everyone again. Sarah and Jimmy was tighter than ever and they sat in the sofa drinking eggnog. The blond boy had after a long time finally no brace when he threw Kevin a bright smile. Every single cul-the-sac teen was there, even the Kankers. Marie and May stood at the kitchen mixing up more eggnog and holiday treats. After Kevin had greeted everyone he had time to eye the apartment. It was beautifully decorated with garlands around the windows and a white plastic tree in the middle of the room with Christmas lights in multiple colors. It was festive alright. But one thing was missing here… where were Double D? He saw Eddy and Ed at the big glass windows talking to Jimmy and laughing but the third musketeer was missing. It was for the better if Double D didn't show up. It would just be kind of awkward when Eddy were here.  
But speaking about the demons. Kevin was just about to tell everyone how the fight a couple of week ago had ended when the door opened and the Sockhead appeared from outside, with Oliver and they held hands. Kevin just stared at them and completely forgot his story.  
"Greetings everyone, sorry I could not receive you but I had to help Oliver", Double D smiled and waved towards them al. "And like I just said this is Oliver, be nice to him"  
Oliver just smiled a shy smile and gave them a little wave in return before they both began to unbutton their coats.  
"Continue Kevin, you saw them and what happened next?", Jimmy said encouraging and looked up at Kevin with big eyes.  
"Well…", Kevin had a hard time focusing on the task, everything he could see was the two nerds together whispering and giggling. "I ran towards them with closed fists and knocked them down of course"  
"Oh that's so brave of you!", Jimmy said amazed and smiled. "And the poor boy on the ground?"  
"Called the ambulance and well the guys had gave me some punches and I… well fainted"  
"It that was really happened? I'm not convinced", said Johnny who sat crossed legged on the floor.  
"Believe it or not but that was what happened", Kevin snarled and rolled his eyes.  
"Oh Johnny let him believe it if he want to", Double D laughed and walked towards Kevin and laid a hand on his shoulder. "No matter what, it was brave of you"  
"Thanks", muttered Kevin and looked down at the floor. "I guess"  
The evening went on and actually it was fun to catch up with everyone again. Rolf visited his family in the old country and he could not shut up about it, soon he was going to move there and complete the task to be a real shepherded. Sarah and Jimmy had opened a bakery in Lemon Brook and they sold a lot of sweets. Johnny had moved to Canada to become a lumberman which was kind of ironic. Ed aspired to become a SFX artist and tried to sell his stuff on conventions, none had snatched his ideas yet but he was on his way. It felt like everyone followed their dreams and here was Kevin with no dreams at all… it made him kind of sick. Another thing that made him sick was how Oliver and Edd behaved. They were always near each other and Oliver was always aroundif Kevin wanted to talk to Double D. It was some kind of closeness Kevin and Double D never had. Was it jealousy al of a sudden?  
"You could have been an awesome football player", Nath said after everyone had told their story about what had happened during the last year,  
"Well, maybe but I…"  
Kevin saw how Double D and Oliver walked into Double D's room. He knew it was wrong in so many levels but he couldn't help himself to rise up from the sofa. He needed to know what was going in between those nerds he was eager to know. He made way and while moving the drapers he bit his lip.  
"Hey Double D… WHAT!"  
Oliver and Double D leaned against his desk and kissed. Kevin's heart crumbled into small pieces and he forgot how to breathe. The both boys looked flustered and busted, like they had have their hands in mom's jelly jar. Kevin just stared at them I complete chock. He knew it, he had understood that!  
"Kevin, just listen…", Double D stuttered.  
"Forget it dude, I knew it anyway!", Kevin muttered and bit his lip.  
"HAHA Double D you have become a real Casanova, first I found you and Shovel chin and now curl head!", Eddy laughed and got all teary eyed.  
"What Kev, you and Double D rebounded?", Nazz asked puzzled.  
"Are KEvEdd a thing again?", Jimmy giggled.  
"SHUT UP EVERYONE!". Kevin yelled and before he could restrain himself he turned around and went out from the studio and slammed the door shut.  
He knew he had ruined the evening but he didn't care. He just wanted to disappear under a log or something. Why did he felt cheated on when it wasn't the case? And why did he react so strongly? IT wasn't fair towards Oliver or Double D. They were utterly cute together and they deserved each other.  
The snow fell heavy outside and Kevin walked across the road into Central Park. He wanted to disappear and he didn't want anyone to find him right now. He needed to cool off and then apologies. He wiped away some tears that wetting his cheeks. He just needed to keep together. Why was it so hard to just forget that stupid dork?


	9. Jammed tap

**I'm so sorry! But my schedule have been crazy this couple of months! But I'll end this at the end of Marsh and maybe I'll write something more after this. Sorry for the suspension I didn't mean to be soo... mean?**  
 **Hope everyone is doing okay and so on!**

 **Hugs! Cor**

* * *

Kevin walked further and further into the park and let the cold breeze cool him down a bit. He overreacted like crazy but… he didn't know how to control himself. He never reacted with commonsense everyone should know this by now. Kevin grunted and clutched his fists and leaned against a tree. _Take deep breaths dork and clam for freaking sake down!_ With closed eyes his other senses improved. He heard the wind playing with the branches… the far away sound of car engines on the road. He felt how the breeze and snowflakes bit his cheeks and made them red. He just stood there, a minute, an hour? Just to calm down… his heart slowly began to thump like normal and his breathing went from a crazy bulls to normal human being.

He brushed the snow of his shoulder and decided to head back when he suddenly heard someone yelling his name. He recognized that high pitched nasal voice everywhere, Double D. His heart jolted yet again and he felt how al his emotions fired up inside him. Some part of Kevin wanted to ignore it and some part wanted to follow his voice. He decided to stand put with his hand in his pockets and just wait, de dork would see him soon enough and Kevin braced himself.  
"Kevin there you are!", Double D said after a while and Kevin glanced at him. "Do you know how dangerous it is to be out in the park by night?"  
"Yeah", Kevin leaned against the tree and gazed at the branches above him.  
"You don't care do you?", Double D sighed and massaged his canthus.  
"No", Kevin said nearly inaudibly.  
"Like everything else?", murmured the dork and shook his head. "Kevin we need to have a serious dialog, this can't prolong… tell me what on your mind because I cannot sort you out"

Kevin just looked at the skinny boy and raised an eyebrow. Did his ex really wanna know what he thought about what happened in his life right now? Kevin opened his mount and hesitated for a while. He clutched his fists to keep his emotions in check. Everything felt like a tap that was jammed and didn't wanna pour water.  
"I'm thinking that I'm stupid for being so jealous and childish and I understand that I'm a jerk towards you and…", Kevin began and he had to take a deep breath when his voice began to crack, why was this so hard to talk about?  
"That is true BUT", Double D said when he saw how hard it was for Kevin to talk about this. "Kevin just stay tranquil and listen to me… you have showed me you least attractive sides, but I think that's because you're not feeling well, why?"  
"It's hard to describe in words" Kevin muttered and bit his lips and looked at everything else except Double D, it was hard enough to feel his hand on his shoulder.  
"Try"  
Just with that one word Kevin looked up at Double D and his vision became blurry. Whatever the jammed tap inside of him loosened up and Kevin felt how he began to say every thought out loud. He couldn't stop.  
"During school I was someone, people looked up to me and even more when we got together, you made me a better person, without you or school, I don't know… everyone seems to know what they want to do and I'm still trying to figure things out and feeling ten step behind everyone and… for fuck sake after four years and I'm still haven't get over you, I'm a pathetic person", Kevin said and he felt how tears trailed down his cheeks. Oh he hated when people saw him like this, it had just been Nazz and it had been hard enough.  
"Oh dear", Double D yelped and he offered a glove to wipe the tears away "It must be hard, but please don't see yourself like that, maybe I must have been to severe towards you during this weeks, it's okay to not know what to do, I told you otherwise but that was in a tempered situation, you are okay as you are, you just need to figure yourself out"  
"I have tried, it's not working", Kevin sniffled and shook his head.  
He felt how Double D gently grabbed his chin and forced him to meet his gaze. Their eyes met and Double D's blue eyes looked concerned, concerned and beautiful…. Minutes passed with them just looking at one another. Soon Double D cracked a soft heartwarming smile and Kevin felt how his lips matched the dorks.  
"You trying, right now, this is the most genuine thing that you have said to me during a long period of time", Double D sighed and took a step back from Kevin and sucked in his under lip.  
"Yeah, because you listen", Kevin said and before he could react he had grabbed Double D's hand.  
"I have always pay attention to you", Double D proclaimed in a soft voice and tilted his head a bit.  
"You got distant when you leaved peach creek, I know we shouldn't talk about the past but we haven't talked about it really", Kevin began and Double D took another step away and he let Kevin's hand go and turned away from him.  
"I had so much to do Kevin", Double D whispered and he hugged himself, that gesture made it hurt inside of Kevin.  
"Yeah I know… but these things build up inside of me, I thought you hadn't time for me anymore", Kevin continued and walked up towards the dork, however when Kevin laid a hand on his shoulder the black-haired boy jerked, like Kevin's touch was electric.  
"Oh dear, Kevin…", Double D said and buried his face in his hands. "Please don't make me the villain here"  
"No I don't, hey listen!", Kevin said and grabbed Double D by the shoulder and turned him around. "I should have said something, and we should have talked about it, I went to Nazz and made you feel terrible instead, we are both villains here"  
"Before I moved to New York and began to talk to you I thought you had grew tired of me", Double D answered and eyed Kevin with weary eyes.  
"I would never do that", Kevin said and let his hands trace down Double D's shoulder, over his arms and soon their fingers where interweaved.  
"Oh dear, what happened to our communication?", Double D asked and shook his head furiously.  
"I don't know, but I like that we talk about this" Kevin said and he rubbed his thumbs over the back of Double D's hands.  
"Yeah so am I", Double D sighed and looked up at Kevin.  
Kevin realized how closed they stood. It was so easy to kiss the dork but he tried to behave. However, his heart drummed hard against his chest and every little nerve prickled inside of him. Have Double D this close again was unrealistic. Felt like a dream he could wake up any second. What did he think about? Double D had Oliver… that thought felt like the alarm clock who woke Kevin up from that mentioned dream.  
"Sorry I stormed out tonight, and please tell Oliver I'm sorry and I'll behave like a normal person next time", Kevin let Double D go and looked down in the snow.  
"You know, Oliver and I are not in a romantic relationship" Double D said and tenderly began to brush al the snow of Kevin's shoulders. "He kissed me because… I asked him what he thought I should do with you, and he showed me"  
What? Had Oliver done it just to be funny? He looked questioning at Double D who shrugged and scratched his upper arm. You could see that he wasn't comfortable with the situation and he hadn't liked Oliver's doing.  
"He goofed?", Kevin asked.  
"Yeah, I gave him a sever scolding and he was sorry, and after that I fetched you", Double D murmured.  
"Why did you need to ask him about me?", Kevin continued and Double D sighed so loud that withe smoke trailed out of his nose and mouth.  
"Because when I heard that you had been into a fight, I felt my world disappear, I realized how much you mean to me and that is frightening, I don't want to depend so much on a person. But with you it's not a difficulty and I feel honored." Double D said, so soft that you could barely here his words over the winds howling.  
"I know it's crazy and scary", Kevin said and nodded, he understood how Double D felt, it was scary to think about a person like that. Kevin had felt how his world had crumbled when Double D had left him, he didn't want to feel that ever again.  
They listened to the wind and eyed the snow swirling around them. Both boys didn't know what to say and the tension thickened. What would they do know? Double D had more or less confessed that he had missed Kevin as much as Kevin had missed the dork. Would they go further and let everything be? Kevin scratched his neck and bit the inside of his chin. He wanted Double D in his life so bad sometimes it hurt like hell. But if Double D wanted to end everything now it was understandable. If that was the case Kevin promised himself to let everything go this time and for real forget Double D and move on. Double D glanced up at Kevin and hesitantly opened his mouth.  
"I, I want to try us, after this conversation it feels like we understand each other?", Double D said with a little smile and with that he embraced Kevin and buried his face into his chest.  
"Totally, on both things…", Kevin said and answered the hug, maybe a little too hard "But are you sure?"  
"I don't know, maybe we can take small steps?", Double D murmured into Kevin's jacket.  
"Sure man, don't push it", Kevin laughed, but suddenly he became very serious and pushed Double D away from himself and gave him a regretful look. "I promise to behave and, I'm so sorry for everything I have done to you…"  
But before Kevin could continue Double D placed a hand over his mouth and gave him a reassuring smile. "We have hurt each other, but I concerned that we'll hurt each other more if we're apart"  
Kevin smiled back and nodded "We suck at everything a relationship should be"  
"Positive", Double D laughed and placed his arms around Kevin's neck.  
They didn't need to say anything more. Instead they kissed. Kevin's heart skipped a beat and he felt how much he had missed the dork's lips. The feeling semmed mutual because they both explored their lips eagerly and Kevin forgot the cold. Kevin and Double D could have continued to make out during hours. But a biting gust made snow fall down on them and Kevin squealed when some of it had found the gap between his neck and jacket. Cold water trailed down the spine and Kevin got goosebumps. Double D chuckled and wiped away a tear. The walk back to the party was the most joyful thing Kevin had felt during months. He would always remember them walking hand in hand, fingers intertwined. Talking was overdo and unnecessary when so much comfortable emotions whirled around them. Kevin just hoped that everyone would understand and not judged them, but none needed to know just yet. Baby steps after all, small, small baby steps.


	10. A friendly fashion

**HII long time no see! Hope you all are good and have had an amazing time while I was gone!**  
 **I think this fic will be a little longer than expected.. hehe!**  
 **And I just want to give my other fanfic a shout out, if you like A extremely goofy movie so check out my story: _Keep your focus Maxie_**  
 **Until next time, take care!**  
 **Love Cor!**

* * *

After the talk with Kevin everything had been good and enjoyable. The ginger had asked for forgiveness and Oliver had granted his wishes. After that none spoke of the incidence anymore. They have had moved on with the evening and it had been fun to catch up with old comrades. Now Eddward and Eddy sat in their apartment after a beloved evening with their friends. They both where a little tired and Eddy was drowsy after consuming a little too much alcohol. But they both sat in the sofa and just appreciated each other's company. Eddy watched MTV, Geordie Shore if Eddward was right. He had never understood those kinds of shows. Instead he read a book he needed to his PhD. It was fascinating reading actually. But the flow soon got disturbed by his buzzing phone. Eddward reached for it and with a smile he saw it was Kevin who had texted him.

 **OMG! Nat snoring! SOS SOS HEEELP MEEEE!**

Eddward recognized his own laugh.

 ***sending magical earplugs* /Eddward**

 **Well, a hotel would help…**

 **With a king-sized bed?**

 **U bet! And some company?**

 **What kind of company would YOU offer ME?**

 **The best of course, you would not be disappointed! ;)**

"Seriously are you sexting with Kevin right in front of me?", Eddy sighed and Eddward felt unwillingly busted.  
"What? Ofcourse not Eddy", Eddward put his phone back on the table and tried to hide is flustered cheeks by pressing his whole face into the pages of the book.  
"You blushing for crying out loud!", without hesitation Eddy grabbed Eddwards phone.  
"Eddy what kind of liberties are you…"  
"Thank god you weren't…", But Eddy got interrupted by the phone buzzing again. "YHUCK what do you see in him brain head?"  
Eddy threw the phone right on front of Eddward and the display showed that KEvin had sent a lot of emojis, three of them was an eggplant, a peach and a winky face. Eddward forced himself not to giggle and looked at Eddy who was unamused. Eddwards phone kept on buzzing while the silence grew thicker than mud between the friends. They just stared at one another and Eddward shrugged. What could he tell Eddy? He loved and needed Kevin's silliness in his life. He had longing for it in matter of fact.  
"Why are you so edgy al of a sudden, Eddy?", Eddward said and tilted his head. "That was just a comedian text to make me laugh, nothing more"  
"He is… He is… gah forget it", Eddy said and rose from the sofa. "I'm going to bed, good night, have fun with Kevin!  
"Stop right there and tell me what's wrong al of a sudden?", Eddward placed a hand on his short friends shoulder and tried to smile. "You know if anything bothering you, just tell me"  
Eddward was more than annoyed about him being the one and only peacekeeper nowadays. When would anyone else take some responsibility about people's emotions? Al of his friends had a hard time talking about more thoughtful things like emotions. Everyone excluding Oliver. Eddy remained put and Eddward tried to be as approachable as possible. His friend sighed and shrugged a little.  
"I… kind of hoped…That you and me…"  
But before Eddy could say anything further the door flung open and Ed rushed in with two large boxes of pizza. The aroma of warm bread and melted cheese spread across the apartment. But Eddward could just look wild-eyed at Eddy. What had is friend just proclaimed?  
"What have I missed?", Ed said. "I thought we agreed about being up all night and watch horror movies?"  
"So did I, but Eddy here seems uncertain", Eddward said and crossed his arms. "And he was going to make a statement about something?"  
Eddy scratched his neck and his gaze was fixed upon his shoes. Something told Eddward that his friend had been busted with his hand in the jelly, so to speak. Eddward wanted him to keep on further with his confession of some sort. But he was worried it had something to do with feelings that was not mutual.  
"It's nothing Sockhead geeszh", Eddy said and waved with his hand. "I just… Shovel chin, of all people in the world?"  
"When will you stop using that nickname? His name is Kevin", Eddward sighed and shook his head. "You had no problem about us during our teenage years… why now?"  
"Because he have been awful? Do I have to remind you about when you two broke up? How sad and depressed you were?"  
Eddward would always recall that day when he had seen Kevin kiss Nazz on the porch. Everything had been so lovely until then. Insecurity preoccupied Edwards self after that day and many months to follow. What if Kevin had higher expectations of him, and Eddward was not good enough? After that he had drown himself in studying and work to be occupied and not let those thoughts haunt him, to keep the OCD away. Eddward was glad to be alive, with an ongoing depression with barley enough sleep or food and too much stress. That had been tough times and yes Ed and Eddy had helped him during his need of guidance. How dared Eddy bring those memories up? Especially after he and Kevin's conversation about getting back together?  
"Are you sure he won't hurt you the same way again?", Eddy raised an eye brow and Eddward who he got judged by his friend.  
"Well…", Eddward stuttered and sucked in his lower lip.  
"Are you?", Eddy continued.  
How dared he?  
"Come on guys, stop it, can we just have a nice night, like old days?", Ed said with a sigh and placed the pizza on the Livingroom table.  
"Sounds delightful!", Eddward stated and gave Eddy one last glare before he turned around and met Ed with a smile. "Thank you for binging wonderful, cholesterol, Palmitic acid, Myristic acid and Stearic acid, heavy sleepover food"  
"Sounds very delightful", Eddy said and you could hear a tone of irony in his voice.  
Eddward decided it was best to ignore Eddys's moodiness. He had no intention to destroy this evening any further. Instead he placed himself in the sofa and took a slice of pizza and began to debate with Ed about which movie they should see. Eddy on the contrary had no opinion in the matter. He launched himself to the divan and stretched out to his full length. His being looked like a grumpy grey cloud. Eddward had a hard time focus on the movie just because he was eager to know what concerned his friend. But he stood his ground, if Eddy didn't want to tell him, he didn't need to. Eddward was so tired of figuring out his friends feelings. No not this time, _Eddward, hold you ground!_  
Eddward would always remember this night. After a couple of hours Eddy relaxed a bit and became his own self. The trio had a wonderful time with pizza, bad horror movies and no concerns about the world surrounding them. Eddward became a little nostalgic. He wished he could travel back to their school years. Everything had been uncomplicated and the toughest task during the day were to make sure to do your homework, which was not even difficult. They have had a nice time, playing around with only Eddy's scams in mind, Oh blissful youth.  
They fell asleep bundled up together on the sofa while Killer tomatoes strikes back played in the background. And if Eddward had been awake he would feel that Eddys grip around his waist was a little firmer than would be considered as a friendly fashion.


	11. The flight home

The day after Kevin woke up with a throbbing headache the realization that everyone would pack up and head to Peach creek made him even more tiered. He hated planes and flying, but it was the easiest and fasted way. He buried his head in the pillow and wanted to continue to sleep. His thoughts got interrupted when soft fingers trailed down his back, followed the middle line, he felt his skin tighten and he got goosebumps.  
"Double D, stop it" he mumbled and the he herd Nazz giggle.  
"Sorry dude, wake up sleepy pants"  
No way… so embarrassing. With blushed cheeks he turned his head a little and saw Nazz smiling face beside him. Nat laid on the cough still sleeping, GOOD! Kevin kicked his sheets away and threw his pillow on Nat. The interrupting snoring and a long line of curse words made it clear that he was now awake. The three friends ate breakfast and soon was they on their way to the airport.  
Kevin looked out the window and began to think about his and Double D's talk yesterday. He hoped the dude hadn't said anything that he didn't mean. But it was Double D he thought about, the kindest and most thoughtful person he knew. The Sockhead had meant anything he said, Kevin was sure about it.  
"When was the last time you visited Peach Creek?", Nazz said after a half hour drive under silence.  
"Well… I don't know", Kevin bit his inner chin. "Two years I think…"  
"Feeling nervous?", Nazz continued but Kevin shrugged.  
"Nah, more nostalgic"  
Nazz took his hand and squeezed a bit and smiled, Kevin returned the smile. He had missed his best friend so much, he hadn't realized it before. What had made them lose contact? Had it been because of Kevin? Surely… Nazz had provoked bad memories and bad thoughts. About him cheting on Double D and a lot more stupid shit. But not anymore, it was the first time in forever he could look at her at just feeling peace, feeling a sort of home. After a while she placed her head on Kevin's shoulder.  
"I have missed you Kevin", she said and looked up at him.  
"Missed you to", he smiled and pulled her a little closer and gave her a proper hug.  
"Seriously back of a cab? Come one guys, for just one time be classy?" Nat glared at them in the rearview mirror but soon the three friends laughed, Kevin needed this more than anything. Felt like high school years, their trio ruling the school, it had been awesome.

They unpacked their luggage and gave the cab driver money. Kevin looked up on the airport, it felt huge. He didn't wanna travel by plane, it was noisy and smelled bad. But Nazz just grabbed him, by the shirt and dragged him toward the entrance. Kevin rolled his eyes but let her guide him, he needed someone to kick his butt, as always. As soon as they got inside the airport Kevin recognized an old bean hat. The Ed's stood in the check in line, waiting on their turn to check in their baggage and receive and boarding card. His ex, boyfriend, something? Seemed more afraid than Kevin was? The fragile guy looked like a pale ghost with big eyes and he constantly wiped his hands on the jeans or fiddled with the hat. Kevin recognized it as stress, poor boy. Kevin couldn't resist walking up behind him and with a little roar he placed his hands on Sockheads hips and hugged him from behind. He felt how Edd jumped in his grip.  
"Kevin you startled me!", Edd turned around and Kevin saw a genuine smile on the guys face. "I'm glad you finally came"  
Kevin was surprised when Edd gave him a gentle kiss on the lips. And he had talked about small baby steps? But Kevin didn't complain, ha actually pulled the dork closer and gave him a proper kiss.  
"Get a room", Eddy mumbled and rolled his eyes.  
Yet again Kevin could not stop thinking about how much of a young businessman/ gangster Eddy looked. He wore a white costume and a purple shirt, he looked so content and elegant. Even his silver briefcase looked like something that contained a tommy-gun. He was such big contrast to everyone else of their friends. Kevin wore combat trousers and his green old hood, even Sockhead wore an orange sweater and just plain jeans. It didn't matter of course, but it was kind of annoying that Eddy felt the need to always show that he made money, good money. Kevin sighed and gave Double D another hug.  
"How are you?"  
"Well, we are going to travel inside a metal container approximately 3,000 ft above solid ground, what could possibly go wrong?", Double D swallowed and tried to smile, but failed, he looked more like a deer in the headlight, terrified.  
"Hey, its okay keep yourself together", Kevin laughed and patted him on the shoulder.  
"Showel chin shouldn't you go back to your place in line?", Eddy sighed and kicked his luggage forward.  
"Don't be silly, they can stand together with us", Ed said and waved at Nat and Nazz to come over.  
"Thanks dude", Kevin said and he couldn't resist to grin a little towards Eddy who looked a little unpleased, _come on grow up!_  
Everything went smoothly, they met the other Cul-the-sack kids at the gate and they talked the time away. But Double D was quiet and got paler and paler each minute. Kevin grabbed the afraid boy's hand and he was surprised when Double D squeezed it hard. Was Double D really THAT afraid of flying? Kevin eyed the boy who just looked down the floor with a sucked in lip. When the speakers suddenly came on and a flight attendant said that it was alright to go onboard the plane, Double D had jerked so hard that Kevin thought that he was about to run away,  
"What are you afraid of?", Kevin sighed "You like human built things because they are, safe"  
"Well, pardon me Kevin but I prefer to have my feet on the ground, thank you", Double D said and straighter his clothes about the hundred time.  
"Do I have to carry you?", Kevin smiled wittily.  
"Of course not, but…"  
Double D had no time to arguing because Kevin threw him over his back and placed himself in the line. The poor boy protested, kicked and punched Kevin on his back and asked to be let down. But Kevin didn't grant his wishes, not yet. Everyone looked at them, either puzzled or amused. Their friends just ignored them and pretended to not know them. Kevin on the other hand laughed, and soon, Double D actually laughed with him, his genuine laugh Kevin loved. After that he let the poor guy stand on his own to legs. And just like that, Kevin had made his boyfriend forget his fear.  
The teens easily proceeded into the airplane and Double D laughed and talked and was his own self again. It was a small airplane and the seats where uncomfortable and it felt like the air you breathed had ben inhaled by hundreds of other people. This was things Kevin didn't like about airplanes, not the height, just the closeness towards strangers. To smell their odors or hear their conversations… no… Kevin hated it. However everything went fine with Double D until the engine roared. The boy jolted like he sat on the electric chair and Kevin bit his lip to not laugh. It was not funny in any way but he was so cute with his frightening eyes and quivering under lip, he looked like bunny.  
"Hey calm down I'm here, right?", Kevin laughed and gave Double D a kiss on the forehead.  
"Next time, I'll take the train", Double D mumbled and placed his hat over his eyes.  
"Sure you'll", Kevin shook his head and leaned towards Double D. "But it much harder to do it in the bathroom on a train"  
Double D punched Kevin I the shoulder and they both laughed. Well… this was going to be a long but fun trip home. It would actually be nice to come back home… to be with friends. A Christmas at home…

But the best part was that he had his dork by his side and it was the finest Christmas present ever.


	12. Strange sadnes

**I'm so sorry you have to wait for my uppdates so long T_T So much I have to do.. but enjoy this chapter!  
Loves and hugs /COR**

 **(UPDATED BECAUSE EPIC FAIL BY ME, JUST UPLOADED HALF OF IT)**

* * *

Eddward was pleased to be safe and sound on earth. But his relief soon became irritation. Eddy had been awful quite around them during the travel. And when the Ed's and Kevin chaired a cab Eddy conversed with the taxi driver about his money. It was always money nowadays and as soon as they got eye contact he looked away. The annoyance, grew, and grew…

Eddward relaxed when he was at home with mother and father. They had a delicious dinner and it was lovely to catch up with them. After the meal Eddward decided to go up and unpack his suitcase. His legs was jelly and as soon as he was done unpacking he laid down on his bed and tried to gain energy. Nostalgia crept around his body while looking around on his old belongings. His parents had not touched anything. Even his withe board held his old equations intact. Something on the nightstand caught his attention and Eddward readjusted himself on the bed so he could look at it with the slightest effort. He picked up the little piece of colored paper of interest. It was a photo of himself laughing, you could see another person's arm around the neat shoulders. It was obvious who that green hood belonged to, and it was obvious why you just could see his arm. Eddward could not recall tearing the photo in to two pieces, but the act was done nonetheless. It must have been after their breakup and a biting sensation of sadness hit him. He had never been so careless about his belongings before. Something inside of him was determined to find that piece. Obviously what had been broken could once again be repaired. He sat and looked at it during a long time just traced his finger around the teared white edge.  
"Double D, me and Ed was just about to take a walk around the dump, for old time's sake"  
Double D jerked and dropped the photo. "Eddy is difficult to knock for once?"  
"Well I did, and your mum said you were here?", Eddy raised an eyebrow and eyed his friend. "Are you coming or what?"  
"Well, Eddy I would love to but me and Kevin…"  
"Oh I see, don't sweat it", Eddy mumbled and shoved his hand in his pockets.  
"Eddy, come here", Eddward sighed and patted on the bed. "I think we need to have a conversation"  
"What now?", Eddy stood his ground and didn't move an inch, he screamed tension and unsettlement.  
"To be blunt, you seems edgy and I wonder what it is?", Eddward sighed and began to pick on a thread in his sweater. "It began during our conversation that pizza evening and it now it has worsen"  
"It's nothing!", Eddy snarled and the he saw the teared picture on the floor, without hesitation he walked to it and picked it up. "And you still think it's a good idea to try again with Kevin?"  
Eddy threw the picture at him, it just flied halfway before it landed at one of Eddward's shoes. The bubble of understanding and patience burst and irritation filled its hole. Right after he and Kevin got together Eddy had been constantly commenting about why it was a reckless idea. He had been nothing more than disdainful, Eddward was tired of it.

"Can you for just one second stop being so condescending?", Eddward yelled and rose up from the bed. "We have talked about this over and over, and you know what, I think you are envious"  
Eddys eyes narrowed and his smile faded. "No I'm not"  
Just a defense act. Eddward was about to break the high walls and finally get into the core. He had promised not to, but he could not stand it any further. He rose up from the bed and pointed his finger into his friend chest. Eddy backed away, probably because he had not seen Eddward this angry for a very long time, maybe it was intimidating?  
"Yes you are, I don't know why, but I know you are. You have the same expression and acting the same way when you know someone have higher income than you do, so stop. What, may I ask, did you want to tell me during that evening? I'm tired of games."  
Eddy just gazed down on the floor, he laughed an unfunny laugh, surely uncomfortable with the situation. But soon, Eddward saw how he softened his expression and his whole being looked defeated. Hunched shoulders and arms lose at his sides. He wasn't a young business man anylonger, he looked like a little sad boy.  
"You know me to well Double D", he whispered. "Yeah you're right,, kind of. Or I don't know but after your breakup, we became closer than ever and I don't know, maybe I have… grown feeling for you"  
The last sentence was hard to hear but Eddward understood the concept of what Eddy wanted to say. Eddward sighed and shook his head. He backed up against the bed and sat down again. He could not understand how this could have happened? He buried his head into his hands and tried not to quiver.  
"Eddy I was a mess, you was, and are, an amazing friend but those feeling you desire, I just can't… don't make our friendship complicated, please?"  
"It seems I already have", murmured Eddy. "Forget the walk, and I find my way out…"  
"Eddy please, don't go, we have to discuss this!" Eddward had no energy to stop him but at least he could use his pitched voice. "I want to solve this…"  
"I'm not an equation you can fix, or repair sockhead!". Eddy nearly yelled and it was sort of scary to see him tearing up like this.  
"Eddy… I beg you, can we talk?"  
"Not about this, just forget it"  
Eddy leaved the room, stomping footsteps echoed down the stairs and the door slammed shut. The windows shattered because of the blow and Eddy leaved a heavy silence behind. Confounded Eddward stared at his door a couple of minutes, the scene was on repeat in his head. What had just happened? Eddward pulled his legs tight against his chest and tried to straighten his sheets with one hand. A confused sadness tugged in him, not a sadness that wanted to be relieved with tears, no. This was another sadness, a sadness you felt when you knew that your friend was hurt but you can't do anything about it. Because Eddward was fine right now and rather pleased with his situation, it was Eddy who struggled and needed help.  
Suddenly a smooth nock on the door made Eddward trail back from his thoughts. During a couple of seconds he hoped it was Eddy who came back and wanted to sort this out. But just by the pulling and closing of the door he knew how it was, Kevin. While Eddward heard Kevin walking up the stairs two steps at the time he quickly scoped up the picture and hid it behind his digital clock. Kevin didn't need to see broken memories right now. The door flung open and his delightful jock crossed his arms and leaned against the doorframe with a sly smile.  
"Hi there Sock head ready to see Krampus with me?", he laughed.  
"Yeah…", Eddward tried to stay focused but it was difficult What did Eddy tell Ed right now? Would they ever be the triforce again?  
"Hey what have happened?", Kevin's voice sounded concerned and the matrasses leaned a little forward when another being pushed it down.  
"Eddy, he just…", Eddward needed to talk to someone and Kevin was a good listener at times.  
Like now. He just sat there and his eyebrows nearly flew up to the hairline when he heard what Eddy just had proclaimed. Eddward didn't judge, the whole idea was absurd and just talking about it felt like talking about a dream you just woke up from and knew every specific detail.  
"Oh, I see…", Kevin said after the sad story had been told. "It must be hard…"  
"I feel sorry for him"; Eddward sighed but it felt better now after he had let his feelings out.  
"Yeah I do to", Kevin scratched his head and shook his head. "I mean, who doesn't want a cute, smart and perfect boyfriend? I understand his jealousy"  
Eddward was not prepared when Kevin more or less threw himself against him. The jock landed on top of the shy nerd and the petit straight sheets became wrinkled yet again. Kevin hugged him tight and nibbled his ear. Their bodies felt like one single unite with an equal hard working heart whose duty at the moment seemed to be escaping the ribcage. Just like that, Eddward did not remembered what had been destressing him just seconds ago. The smell of Kevin was toxic, a mix of axe and peppermint chocolate and the warmth from his body was addicting.  
"We was about Krampus?", Eddward exhaled in right into Kevin's ear which made him laugh.  
"Well if you want to… otherwise I know other things that seems more interesting at the moment", Kevin smiled and kissed Eddward on the lips, forced his mouth open and tongues intertwined.  
Eddward grabbed a fistful of Kevins sweater and pulled him closer. He had missed this, he had missed _them_ , so much. Their kisses got more and more intense and more and more eager. Hands exploring under clothes, touching sensitive skin.  
A sudden, "Eddward is everting alright up there? I heard a loud noise"  
Like a spell Eddward pulled himself together and pushed Kevin a side who toppled down next to him on the bed. It seemed they had knocked his bedtable lamp down in the floor. How come they had not heard this.  
"Nothing, mother, Kevin lust lost his coordination and my lamp hit the floor", Eddward said and kept his voice from cracking. He tried to elbow Kevin who still caressed his lower back,  
"Yeah Sorry Mrs Vincent", Kevin said and laughed when Eddward tried to hit him from behind.  
Without any effort at al Kevin grabbed Eddward by his wrists and hugged him tight and rolled around so he was on top again. His breath felt hot while tickling him on the neck and Eddward had a hard time to control himself.  
"Well, where were we?", Kevin whispered slow with a deeper tone than usual, his sensual tone.  
"Movie, unquestionably movie", Eddward said and patted Kevin on the chest and squirmed out from his grip. "Until my parent's fell sleep, then I think I want to continue what we started"  
"So do I", Kevin smirked and placed his hands behind his head and made himself comfortable in the bed.  
Eddward eyed his good looking and steamy boyfriend before he decided to fetch his laptop. It would be hard to concentrate on the movie that was a fact.


	13. Unproblematise everything again

**I'm sorry! No excuse more than I have a lot do at school. But I'm so happy people still read my fanfic and please comment and tell me what you think! Hope you like this chapter!**  
 **Love Cor**

* * *

Kevin was glad to be home during Christmas but something didn't feel right. The holidays went by in a blurry fast forward movie. It was nice but nothing to remember actually. He was hundred percent sure this feeling was everything about Edd and Eddy. During these days at Peach Creek that boy had seemed rather of and Kevin wondered if he should talk to him on the behalf of Edd.  
"I hope we're NOT going back to New York on THAT!"  
Kevin wiped his forehead from dirt and looked up with a sly smile. Edd leaned his back against the garage door with a raised eyebrow and studied Kevin's dirty clothes. Shrugging Kevin continued his work on the motorcycle. Back home, he always went into the garage to think, first he had just eyed his old motorcycle and felt nostalgia. The shiny red body and dark leather. One thing had led to another and now here he stood covered in sweat and oily fingers. He wanted so bad to bring it back to New York. Just the feel of the leather when he sat on it and the way you needed to make a little effort to press down the break lever. But when he had turned the key nothing had happened. Not dead per se, just sleeping. Now he was determined to hear the engine roar before he leaved this place. Why did he miss it so much? Was it just nostalgia or did he really have so much connection with ha vehicle?  
"We have my BMW for that, I'm just trying to wake this thing up", Kevin took a deep breath and looked at his old friend, it was sad it had broken down because of neglect.  
"I have to admit, you look rather sexy when you covered in dirt and sweat", Edd smiled but didn't move from his spot by the door.  
"Of course, I'm always sexy" Kevin said and tried to clean his hands on the tank top, with no result. "What's up?"  
"Oh nothing", Edd shrugged and sucked in his lip. Which meant it was _something._  
"Is it Eddy?", Kevin eyed his boyfriend who began to observe some tools on the working bench.  
"You know… me and my companions always had our goals set on your garage and the jaw breakers, who could tell years later, I'm able to enter whenever I feel fit?", a sad little smile formed on the Dorks lips and Kevin understood that next sentence would be heavy. "Now, Eddy despise me, I have tried to visit him, none opened the door, he's not answering my calls or replying to my messages, I'm sincerely worried about him, Kevin"  
Kevin walked toward the scrawny guy but he shook his head and leaned his but against the working bench with crossed arms. As a way to show, _not now filthy boy!_ But Kevin ignored those signs and leaned in and pressed his lips against his boyfriends and pulled him closer. Edd seemed not disappointed at least and accepted the kiss and embrace. Kevin just wished a kiss could solve everything. The scent of gasoline and oil mixed with Edd sweet honey and cinnamon soap made Kevin a little lightheaded.  
"Do you need help?", Edd asked with his thumbs still tucked in Kevin's belt loops. "With your motorcycle?"  
"If you want to…", Kevin sighed. "It's a dirty work"  
"Oh you have already made me filthy", Edd rolled his eyes and kissed Kevin on the nose.  
"In more than one way" Kevin smirked and smacked Edd gently on the butt when he tried to push him away.  
Edd laughed a slow laugh and made a face towards Kevin who just stood there with a sly smile on his lips. It was something really intriguing to watch Edd role up his sleeves and beginning to investigate the problem with Kevin's old friend. Hours went by and they laughed and joked together during one-part actually work and one-part silliness like dust and water war. When they finally woke up the engine and Kevin could hear al part's working just fine he had set his mind. He would talk to Eddy. If Double D could help Kevin with his old friends, The he least could try to repay the favor and talk to the Shrimp.

Next day Kevin had begged Eddy to tag along on a trip to the super market. It hadn't been easy but Eddy sure sat shotgun in Kevins charcoal BMW and unamused glared on all the trees that flew by the window. Kevin hummed along with the music that vibrated through your soul. Tried to convince his nerves to not freak out and make him feel nervous about this.  
"Do you going to join our road trip to New York?", Kevin muted the music so they could actually talk to each other, everything sounded so silent like it was the world around him he had muted and not the other way around.  
"No", Eddy sighed. "Actually, I was about to book a flight when you dragged me into your filthy car"  
 _He didn't mean that, you are not filthy, you are the best._ Kevin pated his car a little on the steering wheel. "Come on, it'll be fun", Kevin smiled a little, why was it so hard to be nice towards that dork?  
"As if, like you guys want me to be there?" Eddy scoffed and turned towards Kevin. "Listen, I don't like you and you don't like me, why are we doing this?"  
That was a perfect key, just what he wanted to hear. _Come on you can do this!_  
"I'm doing this, because I'm worried about Double D", Kevin said and swallowed loudly.  
"What about Sock head?", Eddy massaged the bridge of his nose and sighed.  
"You, he's wretched because of what happened between you two", Kevin had steady eyes on the road even if he wanted to see Eddy's expression.  
"You… have no idea", Eddy began but Kevin just gave him a raised eyebrow.  
"Come on he told me everything about you and your feelings", Kevin sighed.  
"Stop the car!", Eddy yelled and sat straight up. "I'm not going to listen to…"  
"Oh but you are going to listen to me, I'll not stop this car", Kevin had a hard time keeping the car steady with al Eddy's movements. "You hate me because of what I did to Double D, but you know what, this thing, what you are doing to him are ten times more shitty because you are putting a strong friendship aside just because of a stupid crush on him, come on man that's childish!"  
"You now nothing", Eddy said in a small voice.  
Kevin had never heard the shrimp this way, was he giving in? No yelling and high pitch voice. Just this moment made this drive worth al the effort. In his peripheral vision Kevin saw how Eddy slouched back and he looked very much like a boy instead of a young businessman.  
"Oh please I think you are lonely and just want to screw him, trust me it's hard to resist" Kevin sneered.  
"Shut up and drive home will ya? I'm not talking about this with you!"  
Just like that, the businessman were back and so was the high-pitched raspy voice. Kevin took a deep breath and tried to hide his contempt. But he was persistent to break Eddy and make him understand. Edd was to kind to even try but Kevin was not.  
"What are you going to tell Ed?", Kevin continued.  
"Mommy and Daddy doesn't love each other anymore?" Eddy said sarcastic and rolled his eyes.  
"If you force him to pick a side and he choose Edd, you gonna get lonely… If I were you I would treat this carefully. And come on do you really wanna loose Dobule Dorks friendship because of this?"  
"Since when did I asked about your opinion? And since when did you began talking like this to people?", Eddy didn't use his angry voice, he sounded more curious.  
Kevin hesitated a little, but he decided Eddy needed to hear this.  
"Since I lost my other half because we didn't talk about the important stuff, but I gained him back when I began to talk about the important stuff", Kevin parked the car on the super markets parking lot and when the engine where off he turned towards Eddy. "Talk to Double D and sort things out, he need you as a friend dude, period! You problematised this so unproblematise everything again!"  
"I hate when you sound like Sock head, you know that?", Eddy scoffed.  
"Shut up you know I'm right!"  
Kevin slammed the car door when he walked out and made the BMW wobbled. That was a good way to make a statement. With slow steps he walked towards the super market and leaved Eddy to his own thoughts. Now, Kevin couldn't do anymore about this. He just hoped that Eddy took his advice by heart and fix things.


	14. Authors sorry

**I'm sorry! You all have been waiting during a long time**

 **I have been down and not feeling well honestly. On top of that life's other things... like... earn money..relationships and so on have been rough.  
I'm back now, it's a promise, and you will be updated this week.**

 **Thank you guys for you understanding and patience.**

 **LOVE you!**

 **Cor!**


	15. Tighter than ever

**Have got so many lovley PM:s wishing me the best. And thank you guys so SO much! 3**

 **I want to make it up for you guys in some way but I rly don't know. But you guys are awesome remember that!**

 **Love/Cor**

* * *

Eddward began the hard duty of repacking his belongings to travel back home together with Kevin, and hopefully Eddy. If they had planned their trip right they should arrive at New York right before the fireworks and celebrations at New Year's Eve. If they did succeed it would be indescribably romantic. Eddward visualized him and Kevin, wandering down the east river of Manhattan. Eddward picked up his books with color coordinated tabs for his PhD with a big smile. It would be perfect. He was just about to turn around when he saw a small piece of paper silently floating down from the desk to the soft carpet. Bewildered he picked it up and an even bigger smile formed on his lips. He had found the lost piece of the picture!  
With quite carelessness he tossed the books a side and fetched the other piece. He wanted so bad to repair the damage he had made. You could repair broken things… you could with tenderness and love.

"Hey what's up?"  
Eddward who had directed all his mind on glue and tape got startled when Eddy's voice appeared by the door. Wide eyed he spanned around on his chair and their eyes met. Something about Eddy was different. Maybe his stubble on his chin and the untucked shirt made him… a little scruffier than usual? But it was not Eddys appearances that puzzled him. It was just the fact that Eddy stood in his room that made Eddward confused. It felt like you saw a rare animal in the wild and not in the zoo. What bringed him here?  
"Hi…", Edward replied confounded.  
Without any allowance Eddy placed himself on the bed and Eddward tried not to scold him about wrinkled sheets. That was not the point here, the point was, Eddy was here. Maybe they could repair things? Tenderness and understanding, and love… those words was repetitive inside Eddwards head.  
"Shovel chi… Kevin talked to me", Eddy began in a big sigh.  
"I do know about your conversation in the car", said Eddward honest and wiggled back and forth in his chair.  
"Jikes, you guys don't have secrets?" Eddy scoffed and scratched his stubble.  
"No, we trying at least…", Eddward rose up from the chair and sat down on the bed, he wanted so bad do comfort his friend in some way, but he was afraid Eddy would flinch and go away, like a wild animal. "How are things Eddy?"  
"I'm surviving… but even if Kevin is a total jackass… he had right about some things", Eddy sighed deeply.  
"Like what?" Eddward said and tilted his head a little.  
"I don't wanna lose you as a friend sock head and… I'm sorry… about everything that happened, what I said… and", Eddy began with a slight broken voice.  
Something inside Eddward broke when he saw his friend in this light. Why couldn't things rewind and turn back to normal?  
"You don't need to be sorry about your feelings Eddy, but you need to confront them and that's going to be hard", Eddward couldn't scold his old friend, instead he smiled a soft smile. "But I'll help you as good as I can and just let me know if my actions make you unnerving"  
"How can you be so nice when I have been so shitty?!", Eddy said sharply and buried his face in his hands.  
"Because I care about you of course, you know friendship is not a demotion against love… You know Kevin won't truly understand and know me as good as you and Ed do, we are the Ed's right?", Eddward said and he knew Eddy didn't like it but he gave his sharp edged friend a hug.

And just like that, forgiveness and understanding settled between them. Nothing more needed to be said and their friendship had no more knots on its bond. Eddwards shoulders felt ten times easier now than before and it felt like he could breathe a little easier. Communication was the key, very few understood that sometimes.  
"Are you going to company me and Kevin on our roadtrip?", Eddward said after few minutes of silence.  
"Nah, I'm actually good, and I have a business party to attend to new year's eve", Eddy leaved Edward alone on the bed and moved towards the door. "But thanks for asking"  
It was a pretty abrupt ending of their conversation but Eddward understood quite well that Eddy didn't want this to prolong. Yet again the young business man where back… sadly. With his head held high and his back slightly less hunched Eddy left the room.  
Without any further ado Eddward straighten his sheets and his thoughts was back to the picture. He wanted the ripped seem to look neat and flawless. Like a good surgical scar, barely visible.  
"Hey Sockhead"  
He lost his concentration on making the bed and the sudden loud voice of Eddy's reappeared. That jumpscare made Eddward loose his balance and tumble down on the bed again. While fighting the sheets to come back up on his feet Eddy laughed.  
"I just wanted to say thank you Brainstein, see you at our apartment, laters"  
Eddward was just glad that Eddy was himself again. He even got a little irritated when he finally had made his bed impeccable again and Eddy was nowhere to be found. That irritation was as it should be and a little smile formed hon Eddwards lips. He just hoped everything would turn back to normal now…

*-*-*  
The newly waxed charcoaled BMW was loaded with their packing and Kevin was ready to hit the road. He leaned his but on the driver door and looked up at the starry night. You could nearly see the band of the milky way like a ghostly cloud behind the stars. He hoped they could see it bright and clear when they leaved al big city's behind them.  
The entrance door to the Vincent's opened and Kevin sighed in relief. Finally, Eddward had hugged and kissed his parent's goodbye. Kevin slapped his arm around himself to get some warmth and waved towards Mrs. And Mr. Vincent who looked at them through the kitchen window.  
"What took you so long? I was about to freeze my heck of!", stuttered Kevin trough chattering teeth.  
"Oh dear your lips are blue", Eddward said quite cheeky and stole a kiss from Kevin´s cold lips.  
"Was that my payment for waiting outside?", Kevin grabbed his boyfriend's hand and pulled him into a embrace and stole a proper kiss.  
"Kevin! My mother and father are observing us, behave yourself", Double D proclaimed and pushed away Kevin gently.  
"Well… I don't care who's watching", Kevin laughed and just shook his head. "Do you think Eddy is happy about the flight?"  
"Positive… come now… we will never be on schedule if we just stay here", Double D giggled and placed himself shotgun.  
Kevin gave Peach Creek one last look before he slammed the driver's door shut and woke the roaring engine. He blasted both heater and speakers, the bas vibrated into your soul. While rotating the steering wheel the front axle on the car complained just slightly, exactly how he remembered his old friend. He honked and with the both boys smiling and laughing they were heading away from Peach Creek and back to New York City.

Two hours in and the road was empty. Nothing else than the street lights and the amazing view of the desert could be seen. The milky way was brighter now and the moon lit up the starry night in a cold pale shine. Kevin thumped his fingers on the steering wheel to the music while Double D sat curled up towards the window reading a book. His little clip on lamp and its yellow light made his car feel comfy. It was either that or the smell of Eddwards hot chocolate and Kevins latte they had bought a while ago. Maybe everything at once. It was a very long time ago Kevin had felt the soothing feeling of home, like right now. Kevin gazed towards Double D and smiled. He knew why he felt like home, and that was because of his dork. It was sad that they soon had to come back to the triviality of weekdays and work. This week had been a roller coaster of emotions but everything had ended happy, like a fairy tale. He didn't want this fairy tale to end… not right now….  
Besides, they would have to live apart from each other a couple of weeks. They had talked about renting a flat together. But they wanted a nice one, an impeccable one. Anf they didn't even know if they wanted to live in New York.  
"I want a cat", Kevin said and looked at Double D. "Or a dog"  
"A cat is more practical at the moment, but the cat hair", Double D sighed and closed his book. "I don't know if I'll be able to stand the fur"  
"Come on… don't tell me you can look a kitty in the eyes and tell it, no, your fur makes me NOT want you?", Kevin laughed and shook his head.  
"I'll consider it", Double D looked out at the stars. "You can see the milky way"  
"Yepp", Kevin nodded, changing of subject, Double D didn't want a furry pet. "Why can't you live with me until we find a flat?"  
"Because of Eddy, I don't want him to get upset again, not right now", Double D sighed. "I'll be missing you tough"  
The more Kevin talked about a flat together the more he wanted it to become reality soon. He looked at Edd and smiled slyly. Al he could think of was the nights they could spend together. And the morning when he woke up with Double D beside him, Kevin understood it could not become reality right now. But it was frustrating.  
"Yeah, I'll miss our nights together"  
"Just our nights?", Double D laughed. "Perv"  
"Of course not! It'll be awesome to come home and you are there, just the small things like cooking, and cleaning and even our arguments… it's something I'll cherish", Kevin smiled.  
"Even when I'm nagging about toothpaste on our towels?", Double D laughed.  
No Kevin could not hold it in any longer. The car slowed down when he eased the gas and he pulled in to the roadside. Eager he turned the enginge of and began to unbuckle his seatbelt.  
"Kevin, what are you do…"  
Before Double D could say anything further Kevin took a fistful of the dorks shirt and pulled him into a kiss. He forced the shy boy's lips so open and their tongues met. Kevin kept on giving kisses until Double D gave in and his stiff body loosened up.  
"Kevin… not here" Double D gasped while Kevin continued to give kisses on the neck and began to nibbling on Eddwards earlobe.  
"Come on? The last days with our parents made it feel like we were back to high school or something, do you not want just for one time to not think of anything else other than just us?"  
"Yeah… but in the car?"  
"Yeah the best of places, I'm done talking"  
"But…"  
Kevin kissed Double D again just to make him shut up for a moment. It worked well and when he unbuckled the seatbelt and unzipped Edd's pants ,the dork didn't object. Kevin whole body was eager to fulfill the plans he just set. Other times he was so gentle and he could be quite a charmer and romantic with a lot of cuddle and fore play, but right now he felt like a released beast full of desires.  
"Kevin…", Double D panted between kisses. "Oh forget it"  
They both was lost with their desires and it was nothing they could do.

Afterwards the both boys cuddled up together in the backseat and gazed up on the stars through the open moonroof. The milky way shone bright and it was one of the most beautiful things Kevin had seen. He pulled in Edd tighter and gave him a gentle kiss on the lips. He felt how them both had goosebumps because of the cold from outdoors. Or was it because they both had been tremendously hot just minutes ago? Everything just felt perfect right there and then.  
"I think we'll miss the fireworks…", Edd said softly and intertwined their fingers.  
"I think we survive", Kevin laughed.  
"The Milky way is prettier then al fireworks in the world", Edd sighed and the stars reflected in his big blue eyes.  
"You are prettier then al fireworks in the world", Kevin said and gave his boyfriend a kiss.  
"I have something for you", Edd whispered and leaned towards their clothes on the car floor,  
Before Kevin fully understood what his boyfriend was up to he had ha photo pressed into his face. He looked at it and he felt how his mouth formed a big smile. It was a picture of them together during their high school years. They looked so happy and newly in love. He remembered the particular day this photo was taken. A hot spring day after school when they showed each other their secret hide outs. They sat on the hood of Kevin's favorite car on the dump, his hideout during school years. Kevin had get so miserable when the car had turned to scraps of metal, actually he had cried over it when he came that day and it was gone. Of course none knew that…  
The photo had been torn apart, but carefully put together again with a lot of care.  
"I thought you could have it" Double D said with a smile. "I destroyed it when we broke up, but I found both pieces and wanted to fix it"  
"You have done a great job", Kevin said and trailed a finger around the glued edges. "Barely visible"  
"But still there, like your relationship? We were torn but now we are tighter than ever"  
Kevin just smiled and gave Edd another kiss. "Tighter than ever"


End file.
